Sport addicts: When sport becomes dangerous

Although sport is in principle good for your health, being addicted to sport to the point of not being able to do without it can be harmful. This addiction has a name: bigorexia. Here is an update on an addictive behaviour recognised by the WHO.

To like sport or to be addicted: how to know?

The person who suffers (often unconsciously) from bigorexia is not necessarily a high-level athlete. In fact, the sports addict can be an amateur who starts "for fun" or to lose weight, for example. But what is the difference between pleasure in sport and addiction? The borderline is not always easy to define, as sport, once the initial efforts have been made, is often slightly addictive.

However, unlike the "classic" sportsman, the sports addict does not spend a day without thinking about his physical activity. Before or after work, sometimes both, during the week and at the weekend, the sports addict cannot imagine spending one or more days without practising his or her favourite activity. Running and weight training are generally the sports with the most addicts.

What are the dangers for the sports addict?

When practised regularly and within one's limits, sport is excellent for one's health. It helps to eliminate toxins, release hormones that help you relax, keep your weight down and your body toned. However, if the sport addict enjoys all these benefits at the beginning, it is then impossible to give up.

When sport becomes an obsession, the addict may take risks to excel, which may result in injuries, fractures, etc., and disregard medical recommendations. This obsession also tends to interfere with social life, sometimes with professional life and in some cases with family life. The sports addict lives only for his passion and seems disconnected from the reality of everyday life.

How do you get addicted to sport?

While the idea of running for 10 minutes scares some people, we sometimes hear that marathon runners really enjoy the race. How can you enjoy running more than 42 kilometres, some would say? This can be explained simply by the fact that sport leads to a real pleasure in the effort. This comes from the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that gives a feeling of well-being throughout the body.

In addition, sport increases sweating, which encourages the consumption of water and thus eliminates many toxins. The body seems cleansed and toned, and a general feeling of well-being pervades the athlete after the effort. These pleasant effects make the athlete want to do it all over again and sometimes create an addiction to go further and faster, regardless of the physical or weather conditions.

Sport addicts: self-imposed limits

Those who become aware of their addiction must take a few precautions to prevent their sport from encroaching on their professional and/or private life. The sportsman or woman may be alerted by certain events that are not very trivial: for example, if he or she puts sport before an important meeting at work or if he or she prefers to go running alone every weekend rather than spending time with his or her partner and/or children.

As long as the passion does not turn into an obsession, the athlete has no reason to worry about his condition. For example, they should be able to stop for several days without feeling physical withdrawal and know how to refuse a sports outing if they are ill or injured.

Enjoying the benefits of sport without going overboard

Sport is an ideal activity that often helps to avoid insomnia, to gain confidence, to learn to know one's own limits and even to widen one's social circle. If we add the other benefits mentioned above (feeling of well-being, elimination of toxins, etc.), we realise that sport is an excellent daily asset. It is therefore important to practice it calmly without being afraid of going overboard. Setting a maximum number of sessions per week (3 to 5) and refusing intensive training when you are only an amateur are precautions that can help a potential sports addict to avoid becoming addicted.

High-level athletes must be able to prepare themselves calmly for the end of their career. Devoting part of one's life to sport often leads to addiction and it is therefore necessary to prepare oneself physically and mentally for a gradual "drop-out".

In case of severe addiction to sport and consequences such as recurrent injuries, fractures, eating disorders and changes in social relationships, it is advisable to consult a doctor or to be followed by a psychologist.

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How to help your children be happy?

We dream of educating our children in the best possible way, to make them balanced and independent and to give them all the keys to blossom in their future life. To help them grow up and become happy adults themselves, it is up to you, the parents, to educate them as much as to love them.

Setting limits for your child to help him or her develop

Although children need to be reassured and encouraged, they also need to be confronted with many limits. Accepting frustration is an essential step for them. With the use of "no" from an early age, the child learns the reality of life and integrates the basics of social rhythms, sharing, relationships with other children but also with adults and becomes aware of his place within the family.

Parents must therefore become guarantors of reality, and keep their place as adults and not as accomplices with the child. While taking into account the child's character, it is their duty to push him or her in a direction that corresponds to him or her, while instilling in him or her the values that are indispensable for life in the community.

The importance of family life for the happiness of children

It is also essential not to sacrifice the couple by giving too much space to the child. For the child to be happy, the parental model must also be happy. It is therefore important for the couple to give themselves time together and not let the children impose their rhythm at home. The family pattern: adults versus children must be clear and respected.

But it does not stop there. In order for them to blossom and therefore to be happy, children need to share moments of joy with their loved ones. Through outings, games or moments of complicity with his parents, he creates anchors to which he can unconsciously cling later. The same applies to meals. By taking part in the family dinner, the child creates reference points and offers himself moments of privileged dialogue necessary for his emotional balance.

Learning to understand your child's emotions to make them happy

Feelings and sentiments are emotional storms for adults and even more so for children. But unlike their parents, children do not know how to step back from their own emotions. It is therefore your role to help them understand and control their emotions. By taking the time to communicate and reassure them, you can help them tame their emotions and get to know themselves better. With simple questions such as "Are you sad or angry?", "Do you know why, or what triggered your reaction?

From now on, they understand and recognise their emotions and adapt to their environment. In a word, he opens up to the world around him. Impulses are better controlled, frustration is tolerated and the child feels better.

Acting calmly, and reassuring your child to help them be happy

With huge upheavals in their bodies and minds, children, especially very young ones, are particularly sensitive to the tone you use and the stress you can communicate to them. Raising your voice to defuse a difficult situation is counterproductive and will only aggravate the situation and generate useless and harmful anxiety in the child, which will remain in the child's subconscious for a long time. The best way to deal with a tantrum is to remain calm and firm in your attitude while explaining why you will not give in. Limits can be set gently and allow the child to integrate the basics that are essential to his future happiness.

If he is afraid, and even if the cause of his anxiety seems silly to you, do not scold him and take it seriously. You need to be benevolent to allow him to set up his emotional and rational neural circuitry in the best possible way.

The child, and even more so the very young child, is a real sponge for the different feelings he or she has, but also for those of his or her parents. To help them master these feelings and integrate into their new environment, they need serene and confident parents who will teach them to become fulfilled and balanced adults.

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Ailurophobia: why are some people afraid of cats?

We are often familiar with famous phobias, such as the fear of lifts, the fear of crowds, the fear of spiders, etc. But do you know about ailurophobia, or the fear of cats? And why do some people suffer from it, often severely?

Ailurophobia: what is it?

First of all, what is ailurophobia? It is an irrational fear of cats, which occurs in a person who has experienced a trauma, often in childhood. This pathological defence mechanism then sets in, fleeing the feline race in an unreasonable manner.
Also called felinophobia, gatophobia or elurophobia, this particular phobia has attracted medical and popular attention, since the beginning of the 20th century, neurologists have been studying the causes of this pathology, which belongs to the anxiety disorders.

The American neurologist Silas Weir Mitchell, for example, wrote an article in the New York Times in 1905, attempting to explain the causes of this fear.

In practice, ailurophobia results in anxiety attacks (repeated, prolonged and excessive anxiety) when the patient is confronted with a cat, either directly or indirectly.

The patient's daily life is often affected, as our cat friends are present almost everywhere on the planet, in our flats or in our streets and countryside. Sometimes this fear is so strong that the subject can sense the presence of a cat within hundreds of metres in advance! And in extreme cases, the sight of a feline is enough to cause a panic attack.

What are the symptoms of ailurophobia?

When people suffering from ailurophobia are confronted with the object of their fear, several symptoms arise, which make it possible to evaluate the severity of their pathology, according to their intensity.

These symptoms are:

• Excessive production of sweat;
• Acceleration of the heart rate;
• Feeling of an irrepressible urge to flee;
• Dizziness (in some cases);
• Loss of consciousness and tremors may also occur;
• Difficulty in breathing may also occur.

Where does garlicurophobia come from?

Like any anxiety disorder, ailurophobia can have various origins, depending on the individual. It may stem primarily from a childhood trauma, such as a cat bite or scratch. The individual suffering from phobia may also have inherited a family fear linked to a toxoplasmosis contracted by a pregnant family member.

Finally, let's not forget the superstitious aspect linked to cats, associating misfortune with the vision of a black cat. Beyond these leads, medicine is not currently able to clearly identify the origins of this phobia, ruling out in any case the "rational" origins, such as asthma or an allergy contracted in the presence of cats. In the end, it would appear to be a defence mechanism that an individual puts in place to avoid facing an anxiety.

What are the treatments for ailurophobia?

When daily life becomes too much affected by this phobia, psychotherapeutic treatments can be considered.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is available to help with this. With a therapist, one tries to confront the object of one's fear by carrying out practical exercises based on the patient's behaviour and reactions. Ericksonian hypnosis can also be tried: a brief therapy, it can be used to treat anxiety disorders that cannot be treated by psychotherapy.

Neuro-linguistic programming and EMDR

Also NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eyes Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) offer different approaches to treatment.

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) will look at the way humans function in a given environment, based on their behavioural patterns. By using certain methods and tools, NLP will help the individual to change their perception of the world around them. This will change their initial behaviours and conditioning, by operating in the structure of their world view. In the case of a phobia, this method is particularly suitable.

As for EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, it uses sensory stimulation through eye movements, but also through auditory or tactile stimuli.

This method allows the stimulation of a complex neuropsychological mechanism present in each of us. This stimulation allows us to reprocess moments experienced as traumatic and not digested by our brain, which can be at the origin of very disabling symptoms, such as phobias.

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Assertiveness: Tips for becoming more assertive

The world can seem cruel to people who are not assertive. Assertiveness is often lacking when you are not confident and find it difficult to express yourself. Fortunately, there are tips on how to be assertive.

Find the source of your lack of assertiveness

Do you find it hard to assert yourself because you lack confidence? Do you find it hard to say no? Find out why and where this behaviour comes from. It may come from your childhood or your adult experience, because you were under the influence of toxic people, for example. In any case, finding the origin of this difficulty will help you to see things a little more clearly.

Know who you are and what you want

To be able to assert yourself, you need to know yourself. Self-assertion requires a better knowledge of oneself, because to express oneself, one must know how to identify one's feelings, weaknesses, strengths and limitations.

Before asserting yourself in a specific situation, you must first know what you want and need. Then you can express it to others.

Express yourself clearly and use the "I" word

To be heard, you have to speak up! Whether in a conflict, a meeting or a debate, don't be afraid to make your point of view clear.

But whatever message you want to get across, it will be better understood if you deliver it firmly, but gently. You speak for yourself, not against the other person. If you are not happy with a situation, involve yourself in the conversation by using "I" rather than the accusatory "you": "I don't feel respected" rather than "you don't respect me", for example.

Talk about yourself in a positive way

Think carefully before you talk about yourself: "what an idiot" or "I'm incapable of" are like curses you cast on yourself. Being assertive means rephrasing your sentences in a positive way. Look for the good rather than the bad. Your successes rather than your failures.

Adapt your posture

Assertiveness also involves your physique, the way you stand, your gaze... Practise standing up straight, shoulders raised, head held high, supporting the gaze of your interlocutor, walking with a confident step and smiling, because your attitude influences your thinking.

Dare to say no

In order to become more assertive, you have to learn to say no, which is a difficult exercise for many people.

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What is considered video game addiction?

Excessive playing of video games can be dangerous for young people. Establishing a few rules is essential to protect them. Focus on the signs of this form of addiction, possible treatment and prevention solutions.

The public most susceptible to video game addiction

It is mainly young people who are exposed to video game addiction. However, cases of serious pathological addiction are quite rare. The greatest risk of addiction is with networked games, especially multi-player role-playing games. Addiction to video games is considered to exist when the player engages in this type of activity excessively, i.e. for 30 hours a week or more, which is much more than the time spent by hardcore gamers, i.e. between 18 and 20 hours a week.

Spotting a video game addiction

There are certain signs that should alert parents, as the symptoms of video game addiction are usually the same. For example, there is a sudden drop in school results, a lack of interest in any other type of activity, but also in social relationships (friends and family). Indeed, the practice of video games in the context of an addiction occupies most of the time, since the subject is unable to reduce the time he devotes to games. This is to the detriment of other activities that they used to be passionate about, such as sport, cinema, music, art or simply going out with friends. The young person tends to isolate himself and no longer wishes to leave his home.

When you notice changes in your child's behaviour, it is important to look for the cause. This may be completely unrelated to the passion for video games.

Video game addiction: the risks

There may be repercussions on sleep, as the addicted gamer tends to play even at night, thus shortening his or her rest time. Sometimes the addiction can also affect the diet.

A fragile person who is addicted to video games runs the risk of ending up sooner or later in a state of psychological suffering and great loneliness if no care is taken. The result is obvious malaise. In rare cases, a video game addict can become extremely sad or aggressive.

If nothing is done to enable him to break with his addiction, the young person is gradually exposed to failure at school and desocialisation. In the long term, he or she may lose self-esteem.

Video game addiction: the right response

As we have seen, video game addiction can have a significant impact on the mental and physical health of young pathological gamers, but it is still not very common. Reacting as soon as possible is essential to limit the impact of this addiction. The gambling addict cannot limit himself. On the other hand, parents must control the time spent gambling.

It is essential that they establish a dialogue with their child, during which video games must be discussed without taboos. This is a good way of taking an interest in this very topical phenomenon and showing your child that you share their interest. Above all, it is important to avoid power struggles.

A video game can be positive if it is perfectly adapted to the age of the child or teenager, and if the time devoted to it is reasonable. It should not interfere with family life, schooling, sleep and leisure time. It can also be an activity to be shared with the family. When young people play alone, it is advisable that the space reserved for video games is located in the areas of the house reserved for the whole family. In this way, the young person is not isolated in front of the screen and it is easier to limit the time spent on this activity.

Parents who are at a loss when faced with the onset of their child's addiction to video games can turn to their doctor. The young person can then be looked after by a psychologist specialising in addictive practices. This is useful if the young person is a pathological gamer, which is fortunately not very common. Moreover, addictive behaviour is much more common among adults than among young people. In any case, in the case of an extreme case, it is best to refer the young person to a specialist in adolescent and child behavioural problems.

Preventing addiction to video games requires the establishment of real but not drastic rules: there is no question of banning access to video games. Thirty to sixty minutes a day, depending on the age of the child or adolescent, is a perfectly reasonable and safe amount of time to play.

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The four agreements of Toltec wisdom

The Toltec Agreements - What do you need to know?

The Four Toltec Agreements proposes to free us from the daily pressure - a devious and counter-productive energy invented by modern man - responsible for much physical and psychological suffering. Contemporary societies feed our bodies and minds with fear of tomorrow and thus limit our ability to perceive the feeling of freedom. This essay does not impose any doctrine, but advises on the paths to take in order to consider a quest for freedom...

1st Toltec Agreement

Let your word be impeccable.

Translation:

This is undoubtedly the most important agreement, but also the most difficult to respect. Your word is not only a communication tool:

It is also a force for creating the events of your life. It therefore has a strong power to cause chaos around you.

This is why it is recommended to speak only with integrity and say what you really think, avoiding backbiting and lying.

Practical exercise:

Keep a workbook and list the things you have said about which you have had doubts.

Under each statement, answer these questions:

1. Do you agree with the deeper meaning of these words?
2. Do they correspond to what you want to achieve and who you are?
3. What words could you have used instead?
4. What impact might this change have on the future?

2nd Toltec Agreement

Whatever happens, don't make it personal.

Translation:

This agreement denounces behaviours induced by susceptibility such as sulking, backbiting or revenge. To avoid them, it is important to remember that what others do or say is only a projection of their reality. It is therefore important to be immune to the opinions and actions of others.

Practical exercise:

Observe and record your reactions to the behaviour of others in your environment.

1. Do you criticise them?
2. Do you find your behaviour objectionable?
3. Where you wish to be free, offer the same freedom to others.

3rd Toltec Agreement

Make no assumptions.

Translation:

Assumptions lead to many misunderstandings, dramas, arguments, separations, anxieties. The Third Toltec Agreement encourages you to take courage to ask the questions and express what you really want. It sounds like a simple agreement, but in reality it truly transforms the way you are.

Practical exercise:

1. Think of an attitude, a behaviour, a way of proceeding of an individual (relative, friend, media individual) that you initially disliked.
2. Think of several reasons why they might have acted in that way and notice the differences in your feelings about it.

4th Toltec Agreement

Always do your best.

To put this agreement into action, you must remember that "your best" changes according to the situations, the years, the periods of your life. Whatever the situation, do your best so that you don't have regrets or feel guilty.

Practical exercise:

1. Plan simple, measurable actions to improve your satisfaction.
2. Carry them out and observe the effect they have on you. Did you do your best?
3. Detail the areas of your life that you are dissatisfied with and try to plan new actions that will improve your satisfaction.

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What to do when faced with a mythomaniac?

Origin of mythomania

The term mythomania was coined by the forensic physician Ernest Dupré at the very beginning of the 20th century. It originally referred to the elective aptitude of children for lying and simulation and more precisely to the "pathological tendency, more or less voluntary and conscious, to lie and to create imaginary fables". For Dupré, haunted by the risk of miscarriages of justice, the child is driven by a constitutional need to harm adults by lying in a natural way. Even if he specifies that these acts are always unintentional, such a discourse constitutes a real indictment of children, and all the more so as he does not put forward any hypothesis to explain the phenomenon. According to him, the child's conscience only intervenes at the very beginning of the lie, which, by progressive autosuggestion, imposes itself on the child's belief. The child would live his lie so intensely that he would end up sincerely believing it.

The lie

The term lie traditionally associated with thought, with intelligence in action. Today, it designates an "assertion knowingly contrary to the truth, made with the intention of deceiving", which confirms the idea that the liar never believes his lie. In other words, a person who says something false that he believes to be true is not lying, he is mistaken.

The linguist A. Reboul confirms this by adding that an assertion can only be qualified as a lie on the condition that "the speaker intends that his interlocutor believe that he believes in the truth of what he is saying.

The definition of a lie therefore comes up against the idea of "lying to oneself". However, it seems that the mythomaniac himself believes his own lies... Can we call the mythomaniac a liar?

Is the mythomaniac a liar?

A. Eiguer defines "mythomania" as a form of mystification towards others, but also towards oneself. Classically, the mythomaniac creates a self-validating persona to which he or she adheres with such determination that he or she is able to convince those around him or her.

"Mythsters must sincerely believe in the stories they tell and the characters they invent in order to better convince others. Even if they don't at first, they eventually get caught up in their own game.

In other words, mythomaniacs start by lying, and then end up taking ownership of the theme of their narrative. A theory was developed in 1891 by the psychiatrist A. Delbrück to describe and explain the phenomenon. Delbrück to describe and explain this phenomenon: the theory of pseudologia-phantistica. The doctor considers this phenomenon as a day dream told to another person as if it were reality, and without any intention to deceive.

Mythomania today

Mythomania today is a pathology characterised by falsehoods in which the perpetrator believes. The individual elaborates scenarios, events, acts and characters that have never taken place or do not exist. They claim to be actors or witnesses in a story that they themselves have imagined and which often places them in an advantageous position.

The mythomaniac ends up acting partially or totally according to his imaginary production. "Not having the strength to exist in reality, they do not really know who they are, since they identify themselves only through the imaginary,". It is therefore a way of escaping an unacceptable reality or one that is difficult to face without suffering. It is a "defence of the organism against a feeling of inferiority and regression".

By an almost unconscious decision and to avoid frustration, the mythomaniac locks himself into a false universe where reality and fiction merge. In most cases, this process tends to last a long time.

"The liar acts with the intention of giving false information. He always has a choice between telling the truth or not, and he knows the difference between the two. Mythomaniacs, who know they are not telling the truth, are unable to control their behaviour and are not aware that they are lying".

The causes of mythomania

Why do some people lie to their interlocutors without any material reason? What psychological benefits does a relationship where others are deceived bring to the liar?

Why does a child lie?

There are several reasons why a child might lie. They may want to feel valued, to avoid responsibility or to fear reprimand. In any case, the child would be unaware of lying before the age of 6 or 7: before that, he or she often alters reality, but unconsciously and without intention to harm.

The typical portrait of the mythomaniac

Because the confession is unbearable, mythomaniacs quickly become great mystifiers. They must be believed or else everything collapses and their imaginary world collapses. He therefore does everything possible to be as accurate as possible, feeding on reality, drawing fragments of truth here and there. Nothing is left to chance, everything is thought out so that the fabrication is credible.

The mythomaniac is typically fragile, hyperemotional, subject to a strong dependence on the gaze of others and whose powers of imagination are increased tenfold. Whatever their profile, they are often the first victims of their imaginary stories, which they have difficulty distinguishing from reality.

What happens when the liar is found out?

This is the worst case scenario for a liar: being discovered. It is a moment that he experiences in an extremely anxious way and that pushes him to take several paths:

• Embark on a new lie.
• To sink into depression.
• Flee to another place where everything can be started again.

What to do when faced with a mythomaniac?

When dealing with a liar, it is recommended not to pay attention to his lies, at the risk of pushing him even further into what he believes to be reality. Similarly, it is not advisable to violently contradict what he says, at the risk of causing obstinacy from which it would be even more difficult to escape.

The best solution is to gradually help the mythomaniac to become aware of the falsity of his reality, by confronting his speech with elements that are not in line with it, while bearing in mind that mythomania can be a serious illness. There is no point in constantly telling him that he is lying.

Therapy is the most recommended treatment, but the mythomaniac must be willing to seek it.

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