International Whale Day 🐳 How is this world day celebrated?

Every third Saturday in February, a giant of the oceans is honoured. World Whale Day is celebrated to raise awareness of the ecological value of these species to the planet.

Why is World Whale Day celebrated?

This day was created in 1980 in Maui, Hawaii, thanks to the initiative of Greg Kauffman, founder of the Pacific Whale Foundation. The aim was to raise awareness about the threat of extinction faced by humpback whales.

The whale: a central place in the ecosystem

When whales are predators, they eat fish and invertebrates. When they are prey, they are hunted by sharks and killer whales. In their carcass state they serve as food for detritus feeders.

They are like a pump that circulates fish and zooplankton, essential nutrients for the primary production of the ecosystem of the seas and oceans. They guarantee the health of marine environments in all parts of the world. Their decline or increase would upset this balance.

But, unfortunately, they are also hunted by humans. With varying degrees of permission.

The different causes of the decline of whales

Several factors have unfortunately contributed to the disappearance of the whale for several years.

First and foremost: whaling

Although whaling has been banned since 1982, it is still going strong, especially in Japan. This country uses scientific studies as a cover, whereas whales are actually hunted for their meat and processed into cosmetics.

But the Icelanders and Norwegians are not left behind, and some northern countries have only this hunt as a means of survival. For them, it is carried out in accordance with the quotas of the International Commission. The largest whaling fleet was also the Soviet Union (which disappeared a few years ago).

There are also collisions

Ships are getting bigger and more numerous, and the number of whales hit by shipping traffic is increasing by 3 to 4% per year.

Fewer food resources:

Krill, the whales' favourite resource, is a victim of industrial fishing and global warming. The areas where they are concentrated are decreasing from year to year.

Plastic: a permanent scourge

With 8 million plastic objects in the oceans, whales, like turtles and other fish, die of poisoning or suffocation.

Noise pollution

We don't necessarily think about it, but man has increased the noise of the seas and oceans tenfold in 20 years. Seismic surveys, sonar and underwater work are responsible for a terrible acoustic fog. This impairs their orientation and thus their search for food and reproduction.

Industrial and chemical pollution

Pollutants unfortunately accumulate in the blubber of cetaceans. This destroys their defences and their resistance to disease, not to mention their fertility.

At present, whales are in danger of extinction, due to the following factors:

1. Illegal fishing, for the commercialisation of their meat, blubber and oil.
   Sport hunting.
2. The destruction of their habitat, due to pollution by toxic materials (oil spills, chemical products and industrial waste).
3. Climate change alters sea water temperatures, affecting the whales' food sources.
4. The constant migration of whales to locate feeding habitats influences the reproductive rates of some species.
5. The reproductive period of whales is estimated to be between 7 and 14 years of age, making it difficult for the immediate continuity of the species.

Man, the biggest culprit

All these factors have mankind in common. On this International Day, and throughout the year if possible, we must therefore reflect on how to change human behaviour in the face of the concerns we create for the whale's environment.

Being an informed consumer by knowing the origin of what we eat, not wasting water, reducing pollutants at all levels, even at home, reducing waste, especially plastic, are everyday gestures that can help the marine ecosystem.

Without forgetting, and this day calls for it, the protection of marine organisms, the creation of marine protection zones, support for defence organisations, avoidance of aquatic amusement centres...

How is this world day celebrated?

The annual Maui Whale Festival, organised by the Pacific Whale Foundation, is held in Hawaii. It is a free event that includes parades with floats, children's events and costumed characters. Hawaiian and international stars take part, with music and lots of fun.

You can do your bit for the health of the oceans by not littering and by supporting whale foundations and organisations by volunteering, spreading the word about whales or supporting fundraising.

Share useful and interesting information about World Whale Day on social media. Use the hashtags #WorldWhaleDay #WhaleDay

Curious, surprising and interesting facts about whales:

• A whale's heart is the size of a car and can fit about 100 people in its mouth.
• The Blue Whale is considered the largest animal in the world. It is approximately 30 metres long and weighs about 180,000 kilos.
• It is estimated that whales have inhabited the planet for some 55 million years.
• According to studies, some whale species are attracted to music.
• They can adopt calves of other species as group members.
• It is estimated that baleen whales can live between 60 and 90 years.
• Researchers at the US National Marine Mammal Foundation claim that whales can spontaneously imitate human voices.

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Games and activities for children at carnival

Ideas for games, activities and entertainment for children at carnival

Here are some ideas for games and activities for children on the theme of carnival. Indeed, carnival is a festival for fun, laughter and everyone can dress up! This festival is now very popular in Europe and America. Carnival is an opportunity to have fun and dress up, and children love it, as you can imagine. But first let's go back to the origins of carnival.

The origins of carnival :

The etymology of the word carnival comes from the Italian "carne (meat) levare (remove)", which means in literal translation: "to remove the meat". This term refers to the period of Lent following Mardi Gras, during which Christians give up eating fatty foods... Thus, Carnival has its origins in antiquity and is traditionally associated with the Christian calendar and takes place between Epiphany (6 January) and Shrove Tuesday, which changes its date each year and takes place between 3 February and 9 March. Epiphany marks the end of the Christmas period and Shrove Tuesday is the eve of the beginning of the Lenten period.

This explains why it is customary at Carnival to eat more abundant food, as it will be forbidden the following day with the beginning of Lent, which will last for 40 days.

Thus, Carnival has its origins in Europe and has spread all over the world.

The principle of Carnival:

Carnival is a day of celebration where people dress up, play the role of someone else, wear masks and above all the basis of carnival is the reversal of roles! This last practice of role reversal can be found in many festivals as far back as antiquity! For example, during the festival of the Sacaea, in the 2nd century B.C., in ancient Babylon, slaves and their masters exchanged roles for 5 consecutive days!

In Rome, at the winter solstice, in honour of Saturn, the Saturnalia festival took place, where slaves and masters also exchanged roles for a few days!

Carnival was initially rejected by the Church before it was finally integrated into the Christian festivals.

This festival has its origins in Europe and is now international. There are now very famous carnivals such as the one in Rio or Venice!

So people dress up, play a role, reverse roles: children become adults, the rich become the poor... Masks are used to keep the secret of the person behind it! Behind their mask and disguise, all participants are equal!

Organise a police investigation to celebrate Carnival:

To discover carnival, and in particular the Venice carnival, why not organise a great detective investigation for the children?

Carnival games and activities for children:

Making pancakes:

If you don't have the opportunity to go out for the carnival, then you can organise a pancake party at home. Or make them for a snack! Children love pancakes. It's unusual and easy to make! Pancakes are eaten at carnival time because, as explained above, we allow ourselves to eat more fatty foods before the beginning of Lent. You can also make waffles, popcorn... Today, everything is allowed!

Dress up:

This is the time to bring out the whole range of disguises your child has at home! For Mardi Gras, we dress up and even wear make-up! If you don't have a costume, then we improvise by getting out old clothes and adapting them to the children... And this is how an old dress can become a real princess dress!

Making masks:

This is an opportunity to do a fun craft activity. Take this opportunity to make some nice carnival masks. You can draw them yourself or print them out directly from the internet. The children can colour them in... To make them thicker and more durable, transfer the mask you have printed onto cardboard...

Musical chairs:

Simply replace the chairs with the masks (those you have made for example)... Place the masks in a circle on the floor... Put one less mask than the number of children. Start the music. The children will turn around the masks. Then when the music stops, the children must quickly get a mask and put it on their face. The child without a mask is eliminated and so on until there is only one child left!

Carnival quiz:

Prepare a quiz with a carnival theme. Adapt the questions to the age of the children... With all that has been said before about the history of carnival, it will be easy to work out the questions. The child who finds the right answer gets a point. For the youngest children, adapt this into a quiz. Suggest 3 answers among which is the right one ...

The intruder game:

The intruder game is an observation game... The children will move around and observe each other in the room... The adult will choose a child in his head and will then start to describe him aloud, starting with a general description and going on to the more detailed one... The children will have to find out who the intruder is!

It is easy to adapt it to the carnival theme... Because the children can play it in costume and with a mask and the descriptions will be on the different costumes!

Drawing is winning:

Organise a 'draw is win' on the theme of carnival! Prepare a list of words on this theme in advance. The children should take turns to pick a paper and only draw it.

List of words on the theme of carnival: Harlequin, costume, pancakes, sweets, Venice, mask, clown, confetti, music, make-up...

Take advantage of the carnival to do many activities and original games with your child! It's a festive time, conducive to discovery and learning.

Organise a snack workshop

For carnival, it is customary to have a good snack, with delicious cakes and a big glass of milk. Instead of buying ready-made biscuits, why not organise a cooking workshop with your children?

To get the little ones, between 2 and 4 years old, involved in this culinary activity, you can stick to the classics and make a chocolate cake, pancakes or waffles. The dough is easy to make.

For older children, you can be original and cook chocolate to cover the pancakes, fancy lollipops or fruit brochettes. The aim is to offer healthy and tasty food to children, but also to share a convivial moment during the preparation and tasting of the snack.

The texture game

After the snack, you can organise the texture game, which will be a lot of fun for your children. For this activity, take some trays or containers in which you place items with different textures. Use whatever is hidden in your cupboards: rice, flour, sugar, lentils, semolina, etc.

The idea? Encourage children to discover the world with their hands! They will have to dip their little finger into each container and guess what they are touching. In addition to being fun, this game awakens the sense of touch, while teaching them to differentiate textures.

Everyone on the dance floor

Carnival is a festive event, so it's a good opportunity to put on a little show. Does your child play a musical instrument? Now is the time to show you how well they're doing. You can also play music and ask your child to follow the rhythm. He will develop his musical ear...

For a successful Carnival, don't hesitate to determine a theme that will appeal to children and that will be a common thread for the various activities and events: superheroes, princes and princesses, historical characters, animals... Ask the children what they prefer!

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When should I know if my child should consult a psychologist?

Family difficulties, school problems, or growth delays, the reasons for consulting child psychologists are increasingly numerous and diverse. But what can we expect from these consultations, and when should they take place? These are some of the questions parents may ask themselves.

Why should my child consult a psychologist?

It is impossible to list here all the reasons why parents consider consulting a psychologist for their child. The general idea is rather to be attentive and to know how to spot any symptom or abnormal and worrying behaviour in a child.

The first signs of suffering in children and adolescents can be harmless (sleep disorders, irritability, etc.) but also very worrying (eating disorders, sadness, isolation, etc.). In reality, as soon as the child encounters a difficulty that he or she cannot resolve alone or with your help, you must be vigilant.

To help you understand what the reasons for consultation may be, here are the most common ones, according to age:

• For children under 3 years of age, it is most often a question of developmental delays and sleep disorders (nightmares, insomnia, etc.);
• With the start of school, some have difficulty separating from their parents or have great difficulty concentrating and/or socialising. Potty training problems may also appear;
• Then in the first and second grades, certain problems, such as learning difficulties, dyslexia or hyperactivity, become apparent. Some children also start to suffer from somatic complaints (headaches, stomach aches, eczema, etc.) to hide deeper suffering;
• From the beginning of secondary school, other worries appear: mockery and exclusion by other children, difficulties in doing homework, poor adaptation to a school for "grown-ups", problems linked to adolescence (anorexia, bulimia, drug addiction, etc.);
• Finally, the arrival at secondary school sometimes causes difficulties in choosing an orientation, opposition with the parents or worries related to sexuality.

It is difficult for parents to judge whether or not their child needs psychological help. If you have any doubts, do not hesitate to ask for advice from the people who are involved with your child on a daily basis (nursery assistants, teachers, etc.).

When should my child see a psychologist?

Most often, parents consider consulting a psychologist when one or more members of the family cannot cope with the situation. The stage of the first symptoms is long past and the suffering is well established. It is therefore quite difficult to assess, quantify and advise a specific period for starting consultations. If you have any doubts, you can talk to your child's paediatrician or general practitioner for advice and possibly specialist contacts.

And above all, follow your instincts! Your child's first psychologist is you. At the first sign of a change in behaviour, the best thing to do is to communicate with your child. Ask them questions about their life at school, their feelings and sentiments. Try to open up a dialogue to help them unburden themselves and confide in you. This is the first real step towards helping them to get better.

And if, despite all your efforts and all your attempts to communicate, the situation remains blocked and his behaviour is different from what you are used to, do not hesitate to consult a specialist.

What happens during a consultation with a psychologist for a child?

Before the first session, the role of the parents is to explain and reassure the child about the course of the appointment. Tell them that they will be meeting a person who is used to working with children and that they will have to draw, play and talk with this person. The fact that the consultation will be less dramatic will allow him to envisage it calmly and to put all the chances on his side for a rapid outcome.

The duration of the follow-up varies greatly depending on the child and the problem to be treated. For some children, the word will be released after one session, while others will take more than a year to confide in us. But one thing is certain, the younger the child, the shorter the therapy.

At the same time, the role of the parents is crucial. Even if you are not present at the appointments, the therapist will need to be able to rely on your motivation and to make sure that he/she has your agreement to interfere in your family life by questioning the child and to be able to give you some constructive advice.

For therapy to be successful, the whole family must be involved and motivated.

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¿Cómo aprender inglés fácil y desde casa?

¿Cómo aprender inglés, fácilmente y de forma eficaz?

Adoptar la actitud correcta

Podrás progresar y alcanzar un nivel excepcional, pero siempre habrá cosas nuevas que aprender. Siempre tendrás que trabajar el inglés y mantenerlo. En realidad, nunca se detendrá. ¡Eso es lo que lo hace emocionante!

Establecer el objetivo correcto

Así que, para ser eficaz ahora, empieza por definir tu objetivo actual. ¿Qué nivel quiere alcanzar?

Uno de los objetivos más comunes es: Alcanzar un nivel de conversación fluido, y no tener miedo a hablar en inglés nunca más.

Es un gran ejemplo de objetivo para empezar. ¿Cuál es el tuyo?

Ten en cuenta que la segunda parte de este objetivo no está directamente relacionada con tu nivel. Se trata más bien del miedo inconsciente a cometer errores y pasar vergüenza.

Pasión, entusiasmo y práctica, el disparador para aprender inglés

Una de las mejores formas de progresar en inglés es viajar al extranjero. El viaje da el impulso para hacer del inglés una pasión. También descubrir autores fascinantes de habla inglesa. Esto te obliga a leer en ese idioma. Luego viajar, vivir y trabajar en Inglaterra. Eso ayuda a mejorar aún más. Pero el detonante puede ser la pasión que despierta ese primer viaje.

No te preocupes, la pasión, el entusiasmo y la práctica es posible sin necesidad de viajar y te explico cómo.

Las tres claves para progresar rápidamente en inglés

1) La primera clave es forzar a tu cerebro a pensar en inglés, y estar en contacto con el idioma que estás aprendiendo cada día, cada semana. Si estás en la fase de aprendizaje, y quieres progresar rápidamente, te recomiendo de 3 a 4 horas semanales en contacto con el inglés. No necesariamente 4 horas de trabajo duro, pero al menos algún contacto: una conversación, una película, un libro, etc. Conoce a gente inglesa, piensa en inglés, lee en inglés, canta en inglés, ve películas, descubre la cultura de los países de habla inglesa que más te interesan.

⇒ Letras de Canciones en Inglés - Lyrics

2) La segunda clave es seguir tus pasiones e intereses.

Apasionarse por el inglés, pero también por los temas que vas a seguir en inglés. Ver películas de los directores que te gustan, con tus actores favoritos. Lee a los autores que te gustan. Sigue blogs, periódicos, podcasts, foros, sobre tus intereses.

Sea cual sea tu interés, si lees, escuchas, escribes en foros sobre temas que te gustan, ¡será mucho más fácil!

3) La tercera clave es darse los medios para conseguirlo.

Empieza ahora, y date 3 o 4 meses para progresar. Puede parecer mucho tiempo, pero en realidad es rápido. Si lo haces, tu progreso será fenomenal. Sin embargo, no se trata de ir a por todas una semana y dejar de hacerlo la siguiente. Busca la mejora continua, trabajando un poco, pero regularmente, cada semana, durante un mínimo de 3 a 4 meses para empezar.
Lo ideal es que le cojas el tranquillo y luego se convierta en algo normal y continúes.
También puedes hacer un pequeño plan de clases personal, anotando las nociones que te gustaría aprender.

Cómo aprender inglés fácilmente - ¿Cómo se ponen en práctica estas tres claves para un aprendizaje eficaz del inglés?

Organizar el entorno para estar en contacto con el inglés todos los días de forma automática

La idea es que utilices la motivación del principio para establecer hábitos que se mantengan, incluso cuando la motivación del principio se haya apagado. Puedes poner el inglés en todas partes de tu vida, de modo que tu cerebro se bañe en el idioma automáticamente, y por tanto sin esfuerzo.

Por ejemplo, ¿sabías que puedes cambiar la configuración de tu cuenta de tus redes sociales para que se muestren en inglés? Es muy fácil, sólo tienes que seleccionarlo en los ajustes. Puedes hacer lo mismo con tu teléfono móvil o tablet, ordenador, videojuegos. Otra idea que pondrá el inglés en tus oídos: Pon una emisora de radio en inglés.

Al principio, esto te obligará a rebuscar en el diccionario para entenderlo todo, ¡pero merece la pena! No te desanimes, si al principio te parece pesado, pronto te acostumbrarás.

Piensa en inglés

Intenta también pensar y hablar contigo mismo en inglés. Todo lo que se te ocurra en tu vida diaria, intenta pensarlo en inglés. Esto puede parecer difícil al principio. Tu pensamiento será más básico en la nueva lengua, porque la domina menos que tu lengua materna. El lenguaje será menos preciso, menos evolucionado, menos matizado. Bueno, ¡qué pena! Hay que mantener el entusiasmo de un principiante, como un niño que descubre y se divierte.

Leer libros y cómics en inglés

¿Hay algún autor de habla inglesa que te guste especialmente? ¿Ken Follett? ¿Arthur Conan Doyle? ¿J.K. Rowling? ¡Léelo directamente en inglés! ⇒ Aquí encontrarás "libros en inglés" para comprar.

Visita también nuestro apartado de Cuentos en Inglés - Stories in English tenemos cientos de historias.

Piensa también en las librerías o bibliotecas. La mayoría tiene estanterías enteras de libros en inglés. Vale la pena.

No te olvides de leer cómics. La ventaja del cómic es que las imágenes facilitan la comprensión. Si eres un fanático, ¡adelante!

Lee y aprende sobre la cultura del país que te interesa. Descubre las costumbres, los hábitos, los deportes nacionales, las fiestas, etc. Es una forma esencial de abrirse a la cultura y entender la forma de pensar de quienes hablan la lengua que estás aprendiendo.

Películas y series en VO

La gran pregunta con las películas y series en VO es si hay que poner subtítulos, y si es así, en qué idioma.

Lo mejor es poner subtítulos para poder entender lo máximo posible. Si no puedes entender nada sin los subtítulos, ponlos. Al principio, siempre será más positivo que no hacer nada. Siempre puedes volver a ver la película o la serie, cambiando el idioma de los subtítulos, e incluso de nuevo sin subtítulos, si puedes hacerlo. Lo importante es hacerlo según tu nivel. Si no entiendes nada, será menos efectivo que si pones los subtítulos. También puede mirar canales de tv ingleses.

Podcasts

Los podcasts son imprescindibles para escuchar inglés todos los días. Hay muchos podcasts en inglés sobre todos los temas, política, historia, cultura, desarrollo personal, deportes, ¡incluso clases de inglés! Haz una búsqueda según tus pasiones y suscríbete. La mayoría de ellos son gratuitos.

Canales de Youtube en inglés

Hay muchos. Suscríbete a los que coinciden con tus intereses. 

Periódicos ingleses

Si le gustan ciertos periódicos, puede leer los artículos directamente en los sitios web de estos periódicos. Por ejemplo, el New York Times,  la revista Time, etc. Si tiene un lector electrónico Kindle (o de cualquier otra marca), puede recibir los artículos de los periódicos que te interesan, de forma gratuita, directamente en tu lector electrónico.

Cocinar

Otra idea original: leer recetas en inglés. Cocinar nuevos platos. Especialidades de otros lugares. Tenemos una sección con recetas de cocina

Haz un curso

¡Se puede tener éxito sin tomar una clase, sin embargo, es una verdadera ayuda! Te dará un marco de trabajo y te hará progresar más rápido. Ahorrarás tiempo, se orientará directamente sobre las nociones útiles para aprender, mantendrá tu motivación a largo plazo. En resumen, con un curso, es más fácil.

Los cursos están dirigidos a todos los niveles y a diferentes problemas de aprendizaje (acento, vocabulario, comprensión, etc.).

Pero sea cual sea el curso que elijas, asegúrate de que lo disfrutas y te entusiasma.

¿Hay que estudiar gramática?

La gramática es útil, hay que saber un mínimo para entender cómo funciona la lengua y saber utilizarla correctamente.

Habla con ingleses

Si puedes conocer a personas de habla inglesa, es genial.

Si no puedes conocer a personas de habla inglesa, busca a alguien que quiera aprender inglés contigo o que ya lo hable. Puedes hablar en inglés regularmente con esta persona y motivaros mutuamente para progresar.

Si tienes amigos en tu círculo que hablan varios idiomas, sal con ellos. Hazles preguntas, pídeles que hablen un poco de inglés contigo.

Planificar un viaje

Si puedes, planifica un viaje o dos durante el año Reino Unido. Te motivará y te ayudará a mejorar.

También hay organizaciones que ofrecen estancias con ingleses.

Supera tu miedo a hablar en inglés y mejora tu pronunciación. Concéntrate en ser entendido, antes de tener un acento perfecto.

¡No te avergüences! Puedes hablar inglés de verdad, sin dominar todo al 100%. Del mismo modo, tu acento no debe ser un obstáculo. Si esperas a pronunciar como un nativo antes de empezar a hablar, tardarás mucho más tiempo y te complicarás las cosas. Pronunciar como un nativo es un gran objetivo, pero no esperes a alcanzarlo para empezar a hablar.

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• Preguntas con WH-Questions 02 - When, Which, Whose, How
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• El tiempo futuro en inglés
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• Present perfect - El presente perfecto inglés
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• Simple past - El pretérito o pasado simple en inglés
• Presente continuo - Forma Afirmativa - English grammar
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• Puntuación en inglés - All about punctuation in English
• Los verbos Auxiliares en inglés - Auxiliary Verbs
• Verbos irregulares en inglés, la lista que debes conocer
• Cómo decir la fecha en inglés - How to say the date in English
• Construir frases simples - To build a simple sentence
• Nombres contables e incontables en inglés
• Presente continuo - Forma Interrogativa
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Conditionals in English - El condicional en Inglés

Gramática Inglesa - English Grammar - Recursos Educativos en inglés

 El condicional se expresa utilizando el modal 'would' seguido de la base verbal (el infinitivo sin 'to'). El condicional se utiliza principalmente en tres contextos:

Para indicar cortesía:

I would like the book, please.

Would you have a couple of minutes for me?

Para expresar el "futuro del pasado":

She said she would come to the cinema.

I thought he would arrive before me.

En las construcciones hipotéticas con "si".

Cuando "si" va seguido del pretérito o del subjuntivo, el condicional se espera en la segunda cláusula:

 If I had the time, I would do my homework.

If you told me the truth, I would believe you.

El "si" de la frase hipotética puede ser implícito:

En tu lugar (= sif I were you), I wouldn't stay here.

Cuidado, el verbo en la estructura hipotética (Si...) es un pretérito modal. Usamos WERE y no WAS: If I were you... para enfatizar lo irreal.

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• DO y MAKE en inglés ¿Cuáles son las diferencias?
• Cuándo usar Since, For, Ago: ¿Cuáles son las diferencias?
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• El comparativo y el superlativo en inglés
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• Preguntas con WH-Questions 02 - When, Which, Whose, How
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• Uso de some / any acompañando nombres contables/incontables
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• El tiempo futuro en inglés
• Present Perfect Progressive - Presente perfecto progresivo
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• Presente continuo - Forma Interrogativa
• Cómo Preguntar y decir el precio en inglés

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Conjugopathy: when couples share disorders

It is no secret that being a couple takes a lot of work. It requires trust, patience, compromise and a whole range of life skills. But sometimes turbulence occurs. Conjugation therapy sets in.

The couple as a challenge

The people of the 20th century did not invent the concept of the conjugal couple. In history in general, we see that this notion is extremely old. The couple is a clinical entity in its own right, with its own dynamics, codes and habits. To form a couple is to create a new territory of intimacy around this entity which is beyond us, but at the same time, it is to open up our own individual territory of intimacy to the other and to the couple. This is one of the great challenges of life.

Before committing oneself and being well in a relationship with the other, one must be well with oneself, know how to be alone and not depend on the other. It will then be easier, once in a relationship, to accept the other's difference, his or her freedom of thought... Living as a couple also means learning to negotiate constantly, to experience multiple and sometimes antagonistic feelings. The individual, according to his environment, his difficulties, his age group, his limits, changes. We are in perpetual movement. So it is difficult for the other person in any relationship to find his or her way when behaviour and reactions change. But the first criterion of success for a couple is communication, saying the things we feel rather than burying them and thus avoiding the other person's imagination. It's also about listening to the other person, not taking them as a critic and accepting that sharing their feelings with you is theirs and above all, stop positioning yourself as a victim. Respect for the other is, of course, a golden rule for the success of the couple, it is the basis of healthy relationships with, always, the recognition of one's faults. But life in a couple is not a long, quiet river and there are many obstacles.

Crisis or conjugal therapy

Conjugal therapy is a psychological disorder, close to depression, which is usually severe and is the consequence of unsatisfactory marital relations and can lead to suicide. The couple has reached a point where both partners no longer recognise themselves in it. Each misinterprets the other's words and attitudes and often perceives them negatively. Conflicts, if not expressed, always degenerate into latent resentment and eventually lead to a breakdown in communication.

Whenever a painful event is not made explicit, it becomes like a third party between the partners. There is a risk that it will come back later, in another form, in a more or less violent way. Each person then experiences the slightest word from their partner, the slightest gesture, the slightest look as an aggression. Dialogue breaks down, intimacy no longer exists. The crisis phases multiply to become chronic. The couple is on the verge of separation, even divorce. Some abandon ship, but others stay on in spite of the marital suffering. The couple is in crisis and all the reasons are present to approach a therapist, a neutral and informed eye. A step that responds to the imperative desire to leave a suffering.

The couple in therapy

At the consultation, the couple, a system that is being torn apart, arrives with two individuals who have scores to settle. The logic of giving has been replaced by that of revenge. The first emergency is for the couple to get out of the vicious circle of reproach and silence. Instead of focusing on the intimate aspects of the couple, it is better to widen the gaze and observe not only the interactions between the members of the two people who are there but also their context. Macroscope rather than microscope. Why do we need to widen our view? Because if you have a significant pathology, it is rare, even rare, that conjugality is enough to produce this pathology.

It takes more than a couple relationship to cause serious depression. It is also necessary to seek out the families of origin to broaden the point of view, and even the professional affiliations. The therapist helps to re-establish communication, even if this does not solve the couple's problem, but this is a necessary prerequisite. The therapist sets up a framework that allows each person to have their own space and time. The dialogue also helps to understand, when the failure is consummated, to identify the conflict, to examine what went wrong so as not to experience the same disappointments again.

Being heard by each other, even more in what they feel than in the content of what they experience, helps the partners to reach each other. Taking a step back to understand, having the means to express dissatisfaction with the relationship and not with the other. The couple must regain its health by moving naturally from the "I" to the "we": the partners are at the service of the couple when necessary; and sometimes the couple is in the background, to support individual projects. What is their common sphere, what is their priority, what do they want to share are the questions that the therapist can help the couple to ask themselves. The will to overcome their difficulties is a determining factor in the success of the couple therapy.

The couple sculpture

Couple sculpture is a tool used when verbal communication is no longer sufficient, when words have lost their meaning. This psycho-corporal therapy is a new mode of expression, where each of the protagonists will stage the posture that symbolises their couple today and focus on their feelings. The objective is to release physical tensions in order to resolve, at the same time, psychic blockages.

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Conflicts between brothers and sisters: How to deal with them?

Siblings always get along more or less well. Managing conflicts between siblings is therefore an almost daily task for parents. There are many solutions for this. Some rely on authority, others on communication.

Take the time to understand each sibling conflict

Conflicts between brothers and sisters are all different. It is therefore necessary to take the time to understand each situation in order to manage it as well as possible. Sometimes the younger siblings annoy the older ones, sometimes the older ones taunt or ignore the younger ones. Children may fight over a toy or simply because they are too tired. In order to understand the conflict, each child needs to give their side of the story and explain why they are angry.

Sibling conflict: jealousy

Children may have difficulty finding their place. They think that parental love is something that is divided between siblings. To reassure children, it is imperative to make them understand that there is no difference between them.

Jealousy must be understood by parents. Younger children envy the freedom of their elders, and older children envy the attention that parents give to younger children. By explaining to each child that his or her age has an important impact on the parents' attitude towards him or her, it is possible to reduce tensions. It is also important to accept that children feel jealousy. It is a very natural feeling that builds up each person.

Age-appropriate conflict management

Dealing with sibling conflict is also about taking into account the age of each child. Many squabbles are age-related. More bickering occurs as a child becomes more independent. With toddlers, the first steps often generate the anger of older children who see their toys and belongings disappear!

Around the age of 6, children leave the kindergarten for the big school. They were the biggest and become the smallest. They also leave childhood and play for learning. This is a difficult period and it is sometimes felt at home. Children abandon their younger siblings, who are considered too young, in favour of their elders. The balance of the siblings becomes fragile.

Entering adolescence is also a difficult stage that can affect understanding between brothers and sisters. It is essential for parents to be patient and to support their children as they enter their adult life.

Staying out of sibling conflicts

Conflicts and bickering can be unpleasant, but they should not be avoided automatically. On the contrary! They help children to find their place, to develop and show their personality, and to gain respect. Most bickering only lasts a short time.

It is imperative to intervene when children get into fights, insult each other, damage their belongings or when the conflict lasts too long. Before punishing, it is important to identify the cause of the conflict and the responsibility of each child. This way the reprimand will be measured!

Conflicts between brothers and sisters: knowing how to punish

The punishment chosen is very important. It is essential to adapt it to the age of the child and the extent of the misbehaviour. Most of the time, you should give the same punishment and remain flexible. For example, you can isolate each child for a few minutes or ask them to tidy up their room or the playroom. Each child should apologise if they have hurt their sibling, but also if they have broken a toy. The apology can be verbal or in the form of a drawing.

Vigilance is required with regard to punishment. When it is impossible to know the truth about a conflict, the punishment should be limited or a simple warning given. Undue punishment can be very negative as it increases tensions between siblings.

Directing activities and praising moments of agreement

To limit conflicts, activities should be directed and those that everyone enjoys should be given priority. In this way, there are more moments of agreement. These moments should be highlighted, congratulated and why not rewarded. Spending time together promotes good understanding between brothers and sisters and also limits conflicts.

Being fair to siblings in case of conflict is essential to ensure good understanding within the sibling group and the family. It is important to let children interact with each other, but also to punish them so that everyone understands their responsibilities.

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