What is considered video game addiction?

Excessive playing of video games can be dangerous for young people. Establishing a few rules is essential to protect them. Focus on the signs of this form of addiction, possible treatment and prevention solutions.

The public most susceptible to video game addiction

It is mainly young people who are exposed to video game addiction. However, cases of serious pathological addiction are quite rare. The greatest risk of addiction is with networked games, especially multi-player role-playing games. Addiction to video games is considered to exist when the player engages in this type of activity excessively, i.e. for 30 hours a week or more, which is much more than the time spent by hardcore gamers, i.e. between 18 and 20 hours a week.

Spotting a video game addiction

There are certain signs that should alert parents, as the symptoms of video game addiction are usually the same. For example, there is a sudden drop in school results, a lack of interest in any other type of activity, but also in social relationships (friends and family). Indeed, the practice of video games in the context of an addiction occupies most of the time, since the subject is unable to reduce the time he devotes to games. This is to the detriment of other activities that they used to be passionate about, such as sport, cinema, music, art or simply going out with friends. The young person tends to isolate himself and no longer wishes to leave his home.

When you notice changes in your child's behaviour, it is important to look for the cause. This may be completely unrelated to the passion for video games.

Video game addiction: the risks

There may be repercussions on sleep, as the addicted gamer tends to play even at night, thus shortening his or her rest time. Sometimes the addiction can also affect the diet.

A fragile person who is addicted to video games runs the risk of ending up sooner or later in a state of psychological suffering and great loneliness if no care is taken. The result is obvious malaise. In rare cases, a video game addict can become extremely sad or aggressive.

If nothing is done to enable him to break with his addiction, the young person is gradually exposed to failure at school and desocialisation. In the long term, he or she may lose self-esteem.

Video game addiction: the right response

As we have seen, video game addiction can have a significant impact on the mental and physical health of young pathological gamers, but it is still not very common. Reacting as soon as possible is essential to limit the impact of this addiction. The gambling addict cannot limit himself. On the other hand, parents must control the time spent gambling.

It is essential that they establish a dialogue with their child, during which video games must be discussed without taboos. This is a good way of taking an interest in this very topical phenomenon and showing your child that you share their interest. Above all, it is important to avoid power struggles.

A video game can be positive if it is perfectly adapted to the age of the child or teenager, and if the time devoted to it is reasonable. It should not interfere with family life, schooling, sleep and leisure time. It can also be an activity to be shared with the family. When young people play alone, it is advisable that the space reserved for video games is located in the areas of the house reserved for the whole family. In this way, the young person is not isolated in front of the screen and it is easier to limit the time spent on this activity.

Parents who are at a loss when faced with the onset of their child's addiction to video games can turn to their doctor. The young person can then be looked after by a psychologist specialising in addictive practices. This is useful if the young person is a pathological gamer, which is fortunately not very common. Moreover, addictive behaviour is much more common among adults than among young people. In any case, in the case of an extreme case, it is best to refer the young person to a specialist in adolescent and child behavioural problems.

Preventing addiction to video games requires the establishment of real but not drastic rules: there is no question of banning access to video games. Thirty to sixty minutes a day, depending on the age of the child or adolescent, is a perfectly reasonable and safe amount of time to play.

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The four agreements of Toltec wisdom

The Toltec Agreements - What do you need to know?

The Four Toltec Agreements proposes to free us from the daily pressure - a devious and counter-productive energy invented by modern man - responsible for much physical and psychological suffering. Contemporary societies feed our bodies and minds with fear of tomorrow and thus limit our ability to perceive the feeling of freedom. This essay does not impose any doctrine, but advises on the paths to take in order to consider a quest for freedom...

1st Toltec Agreement

Let your word be impeccable.

Translation:

This is undoubtedly the most important agreement, but also the most difficult to respect. Your word is not only a communication tool:

It is also a force for creating the events of your life. It therefore has a strong power to cause chaos around you.

This is why it is recommended to speak only with integrity and say what you really think, avoiding backbiting and lying.

Practical exercise:

Keep a workbook and list the things you have said about which you have had doubts.

Under each statement, answer these questions:

1. Do you agree with the deeper meaning of these words?
2. Do they correspond to what you want to achieve and who you are?
3. What words could you have used instead?
4. What impact might this change have on the future?

2nd Toltec Agreement

Whatever happens, don't make it personal.

Translation:

This agreement denounces behaviours induced by susceptibility such as sulking, backbiting or revenge. To avoid them, it is important to remember that what others do or say is only a projection of their reality. It is therefore important to be immune to the opinions and actions of others.

Practical exercise:

Observe and record your reactions to the behaviour of others in your environment.

1. Do you criticise them?
2. Do you find your behaviour objectionable?
3. Where you wish to be free, offer the same freedom to others.

3rd Toltec Agreement

Make no assumptions.

Translation:

Assumptions lead to many misunderstandings, dramas, arguments, separations, anxieties. The Third Toltec Agreement encourages you to take courage to ask the questions and express what you really want. It sounds like a simple agreement, but in reality it truly transforms the way you are.

Practical exercise:

1. Think of an attitude, a behaviour, a way of proceeding of an individual (relative, friend, media individual) that you initially disliked.
2. Think of several reasons why they might have acted in that way and notice the differences in your feelings about it.

4th Toltec Agreement

Always do your best.

To put this agreement into action, you must remember that "your best" changes according to the situations, the years, the periods of your life. Whatever the situation, do your best so that you don't have regrets or feel guilty.

Practical exercise:

1. Plan simple, measurable actions to improve your satisfaction.
2. Carry them out and observe the effect they have on you. Did you do your best?
3. Detail the areas of your life that you are dissatisfied with and try to plan new actions that will improve your satisfaction.

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What to do when faced with a mythomaniac?

Origin of mythomania

The term mythomania was coined by the forensic physician Ernest Dupré at the very beginning of the 20th century. It originally referred to the elective aptitude of children for lying and simulation and more precisely to the "pathological tendency, more or less voluntary and conscious, to lie and to create imaginary fables". For Dupré, haunted by the risk of miscarriages of justice, the child is driven by a constitutional need to harm adults by lying in a natural way. Even if he specifies that these acts are always unintentional, such a discourse constitutes a real indictment of children, and all the more so as he does not put forward any hypothesis to explain the phenomenon. According to him, the child's conscience only intervenes at the very beginning of the lie, which, by progressive autosuggestion, imposes itself on the child's belief. The child would live his lie so intensely that he would end up sincerely believing it.

The lie

The term lie traditionally associated with thought, with intelligence in action. Today, it designates an "assertion knowingly contrary to the truth, made with the intention of deceiving", which confirms the idea that the liar never believes his lie. In other words, a person who says something false that he believes to be true is not lying, he is mistaken.

The linguist A. Reboul confirms this by adding that an assertion can only be qualified as a lie on the condition that "the speaker intends that his interlocutor believe that he believes in the truth of what he is saying.

The definition of a lie therefore comes up against the idea of "lying to oneself". However, it seems that the mythomaniac himself believes his own lies... Can we call the mythomaniac a liar?

Is the mythomaniac a liar?

A. Eiguer defines "mythomania" as a form of mystification towards others, but also towards oneself. Classically, the mythomaniac creates a self-validating persona to which he or she adheres with such determination that he or she is able to convince those around him or her.

"Mythsters must sincerely believe in the stories they tell and the characters they invent in order to better convince others. Even if they don't at first, they eventually get caught up in their own game.

In other words, mythomaniacs start by lying, and then end up taking ownership of the theme of their narrative. A theory was developed in 1891 by the psychiatrist A. Delbrück to describe and explain the phenomenon. Delbrück to describe and explain this phenomenon: the theory of pseudologia-phantistica. The doctor considers this phenomenon as a day dream told to another person as if it were reality, and without any intention to deceive.

Mythomania today

Mythomania today is a pathology characterised by falsehoods in which the perpetrator believes. The individual elaborates scenarios, events, acts and characters that have never taken place or do not exist. They claim to be actors or witnesses in a story that they themselves have imagined and which often places them in an advantageous position.

The mythomaniac ends up acting partially or totally according to his imaginary production. "Not having the strength to exist in reality, they do not really know who they are, since they identify themselves only through the imaginary,". It is therefore a way of escaping an unacceptable reality or one that is difficult to face without suffering. It is a "defence of the organism against a feeling of inferiority and regression".

By an almost unconscious decision and to avoid frustration, the mythomaniac locks himself into a false universe where reality and fiction merge. In most cases, this process tends to last a long time.

"The liar acts with the intention of giving false information. He always has a choice between telling the truth or not, and he knows the difference between the two. Mythomaniacs, who know they are not telling the truth, are unable to control their behaviour and are not aware that they are lying".

The causes of mythomania

Why do some people lie to their interlocutors without any material reason? What psychological benefits does a relationship where others are deceived bring to the liar?

Why does a child lie?

There are several reasons why a child might lie. They may want to feel valued, to avoid responsibility or to fear reprimand. In any case, the child would be unaware of lying before the age of 6 or 7: before that, he or she often alters reality, but unconsciously and without intention to harm.

The typical portrait of the mythomaniac

Because the confession is unbearable, mythomaniacs quickly become great mystifiers. They must be believed or else everything collapses and their imaginary world collapses. He therefore does everything possible to be as accurate as possible, feeding on reality, drawing fragments of truth here and there. Nothing is left to chance, everything is thought out so that the fabrication is credible.

The mythomaniac is typically fragile, hyperemotional, subject to a strong dependence on the gaze of others and whose powers of imagination are increased tenfold. Whatever their profile, they are often the first victims of their imaginary stories, which they have difficulty distinguishing from reality.

What happens when the liar is found out?

This is the worst case scenario for a liar: being discovered. It is a moment that he experiences in an extremely anxious way and that pushes him to take several paths:

• Embark on a new lie.
• To sink into depression.
• Flee to another place where everything can be started again.

What to do when faced with a mythomaniac?

When dealing with a liar, it is recommended not to pay attention to his lies, at the risk of pushing him even further into what he believes to be reality. Similarly, it is not advisable to violently contradict what he says, at the risk of causing obstinacy from which it would be even more difficult to escape.

The best solution is to gradually help the mythomaniac to become aware of the falsity of his reality, by confronting his speech with elements that are not in line with it, while bearing in mind that mythomania can be a serious illness. There is no point in constantly telling him that he is lying.

Therapy is the most recommended treatment, but the mythomaniac must be willing to seek it.

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What to do when faced with a megalomaniac?

Megalomania is quite common. It can be very annoying for those around you. Tips for living with a megalomaniac.

What is megalomania?

Megalomania corresponds to a hypertrophied pride. This psychopathological illness is part of the narcissistic personality. It is expressed by an overestimation of oneself which makes the megalomaniac attribute prestigious actions, exceptional gifts, unlimited love affections, unsuspected wealth.

Megalomania is often the result of a narcissistic personality disorder. It may be reinforced by paranoia or schizophrenia.

Megalomania, to varying degrees, is quite common. This self-expansion is quite exemplary in artists, dictators and great politicians. As our society pushes individuals to become more and more self-centred, megalomaniacs are becoming more and more numerous.

Megalomania is often linked to emotional deficiencies in childhood, where self-esteem could not be acquired in a solid way.

The symptoms of megalomania

A megalomaniac feels superior, more talented, more beautiful, more important than everyone else. He or she thinks that he or she has the glory and the power. He or she is often delusional and delusions of grandeur. One megalomaniac thinks he is a great actor, another sees himself as Napoleon Bonaparte! In extreme cases, megalomaniacs have hallucinations.

Cognitive and behavioural therapies can improve the behaviour of megalomaniacs. Psychoanalysis can also help. But most of the time the megalomaniac does not seek treatment because he/she thinks he/she is better than the therapists!

Living with a megalomaniac is complicated

Megalomaniacs think that they are entitled to everything. They believe that they can do anything they want and that their desires must always be fulfilled. Opposing them can lead to crises. The people around them are at their disposal. Megalomaniacs lack empathy. They are so focused on themselves that they do not pay attention to the feelings of others.

In addition, megalomaniacs are haughty, arrogant, and need to be admired.

All this makes them difficult people to deal with, whether in a family, friendship or professional setting!

What to do when faced with a megalomaniac?

If you have a megalomaniac in your circle, show approval only when it is sincere and deserved and explain why others do not find them as exceptional as they think.

If you want to criticise her, it is better not to attack her as a person but to criticise one of her behaviours in particular.

Be aware of her attempts to manipulate you, whether through fear ("Be careful if you..."), flattery ("You are the best") or guilt ("After all I have done for you...").

Do not expect reciprocity, give and take. The megalomaniac expects to receive a lot, but will not give you back what you give, because everything is due to them, they deserve what you give them.

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How to organise your Valentine's Day party?

Every year, all lovers celebrate Valentine's Day together on February 14th. It is the day when you meet your partner to spend a special moment.

Organise and make a success of your Valentine's Day party

Whether or not you celebrate this special day, it is always nice to be pampered by the person you love most in the world. To make this evening exceptional, here are our tips to help you organise your romantic Valentine's Day evening!

Surprise him/her as soon as he/she arrives home

Start to do things right from the moment he/she arrives at your house. Play soft, romantic music in the background. Plant rose petals on the floor to guide her where you want her to go. You can also light a few candles to create a subdued and romantic atmosphere. There are several options, you can welcome her at the door or create a path of flowers (you can for example create arrows with rose petals).

A hot bath to relax him/her

Are you lucky enough to have a bath? If so, you'll need to prepare a nice hot bath for your partner. Run the water a few minutes before he/she arrives so that the water is at the ideal temperature. Place a number of candles and rose petals on the edge of the bath (you can also place a whole rose). For the more romantic, you can also place pink or red post-it notes on the bathroom window to form a heart and write little messages of love.

All you have to do is make a large volume of foam

Do you want to take a bath together? What could be more natural than to want to take a nice hot bath to raise the temperature? In this case, don't forget to open a bottle of champagne and add some strawberries.

The outfit

On Valentine's Day, you have to look your best. For your sweetheart, this is already the case in his or her eyes, but don't forget to dress up! Once your sweetheart is out of the bath, guide her to the bedroom to show her the outfit you have chosen for her. This will show her that you know what looks good on her. And of course, don't forget to choose sexy underwear because the evening is far from over.

The meal

The meal is a crucial moment of the evening, so to make sure that your meal as a couple goes as smoothly as possible, you will have different possibilities:

• Book a table in a restaurant: every 14 February, restaurant owners take the necessary steps to offer tables and meals specially designed for couples
• Prepare the meal from A to Z: Are you a cordon bleu? Then surprise your loved one by preparing a meal he or she will not soon forget. You can find many recipes on the internet or in cooking magazines that are specially designed for lovers
• Call in a caterer: you're not very good in the kitchen or you don't have the time to prepare the meal? Opt for a caterer (but you can also buy good food in many shops), so you can be sure of the quality and spend your time preparing the rest of the evening

On February 14th, don't forget to choose aphrodisiac dishes to make your evening last until the end of the night (avocados, almonds, dark chocolate, ginseng, ginger, saffron etc.).

Spice up the evening with games

On this very special day, you are going to spend a special moment with your loved one. Once the meal is over, continue the fun with games specially designed for couples. There are many possibilities to surprise her during your Valentine's evening! Here are a few examples of how you can spend a pleasant moment together:

• A massage with chocolate.
• A board game for adults (in which you will have to take up various challenges).
• The Forbidden Games Box: everything you need to have an unforgettable time.

Don't forget to plan your romantic evening several days in advance so that it is a success. And to make sure that this evening ends in the most beautiful way, don't forget to decorate your room.

Decorating the bedroom

Place artificial rose petals (so you can use them over and over again) on the bed, bedside table and floor. Don't be too heavy-handed, it has to be beautiful without being overloaded. On the bed, what could be more beautiful than to recreate a pretty heart with petals? Place a pretty red rose in the centre to symbolise your love.

Then light some candles (you can choose LED candles if you wish) to create a romantic atmosphere like in the most beautiful love films. One or two floating candles in a vase filled with water will look great.

Take out the various accessories for the massage on the bedside table so that you have everything at hand when the time comes. You can also bring a bottle of champagne with two flutes to loosen your inhibitions.

You can also apply a little perfume to your bed linen to achieve the ultimate in romance.

Recursos en inglés para San Valentín

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Psychopathy: What is it? Can be treated?

Psychopathy is a serious personality disorder that affects 4% of men. This disorder is difficult to treat and requires social support in addition to therapeutic support.

Psychopathy: what is it?

The term psychopathy has disappeared from the classifications of mental disorders but is still used to describe a complex personality disorder, now called antisocial personality disorder. It is not an illness but a pathological personality that is expressed throughout life.

This psychological disorder can interact with and/or accentuate other disorders such as schizophrenia or bipolar depression. There are several degrees of the disease, ranging from moderate psychopathy to criminal acts that are dangerous to others.

Psychopathy is said to affect 4% of men but only one in a hundred women. 60% of people in prison are psychopaths. There is a causal link between psychopathic personality and delinquency.

What is a psychopath?

The diagnosis of psychopathy or antisocial personality disorder is based on antisocial behaviour, not necessarily criminal behaviour. The psychopath's life is marked by precariousness and instability, professionally, socially and emotionally.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatry (DSM) IV and 5 defines psychopathy as a pattern of disregard and transgression of the rights of others that has occurred since the age of 15 "associated with at least 3 of the following manifestations:

• inability to conform to laws and social norms
• a tendency to deceive for profit or pleasure (indicated by repeated lying, use of pseudonyms, scams)
• impulsiveness or inability to plan ahead
• irritability or aggressiveness (indicated by repeated fighting or aggression)
• reckless disregard for safety of self or others
• persistent irresponsibility (indicated by inability to hold a steady job or meet financial obligations)
• lack of remorse (indicated by being indifferent or justifying oneself after hurting, abusing or stealing from others)

Profile of the psychopath

According to many authors, this syndrome characterises people who are arrogant, highly manipulative, insensitive, seductive, dominant and fearless. In addition, psychopaths are considered to be impulsive in many areas of their lives. They have no remorse or empathy. Themes of love, horror, and good and evil mean nothing to psychopaths, except in a very superficial way. They are constantly seeking stimulation, display superficial affect, and aspire to control others and their environment. They view those around them as objects to be manipulated at will, maintaining relationships for utilitarian purposes.

Psychopathy is often associated with alcohol, drug or medication abuse. Substance abuse is the most frequently observed comorbidity.

Can psychopathy be treated?

The prognosis for psychopathy is poor. Mortality is high, due to violence and drug use.

Therapeutic treatment of psychopathy is possible. It must be linked to social care. However, the psychopath is never at the initiative of the treatment.

Classical psychoanalysis is generally unsuitable. Cognitive-behavioural and psychodynamic therapies, individually or in groups, are of interest.

Medication is used to reduce symptoms temporarily, but the results are rather disappointing: benzodiazepines, neuroleptics for their action on aggressive and impulsive behaviour, antidepressants, antiepileptics, thymoregulators, lithium.

Note: over the age of 40, the symptoms of psychopathy subside.

Do we know the causes of psychopathy?

Several hypotheses have been put forward to explain psychopathic personality disorders: hormonal imbalance, frontal neurological disorders, a defect in emotional regulation, childhood psychological trauma, etc. It would seem that none of these factors alone is sufficient to explain the psychopathic personality disorder. Psychopathy would rather be due to biological disorders linked to heredity, combined with psychological, educational and social factors.

It is known that during childhood and adolescence, non-specific conduct disorders can be observed, which are likely to evolve into psychopathy, and that it is therefore of interest that these children and adolescents receive early individual care.

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What is narcissistic personality disorder?

Hated because they are full of themselves, egotistical, lacking in empathy and condescending; narcissistic people feel superior to others. The one most talked about, as potentially dangerous for his victims, is the narcissistic pervert. But there are other profiles of narcissistic personalities. How do you recognise a narcissistic person? What are the causes of narcissism? How do you deal with a narcissist?

What is narcissistic personality disorder?

"Narcissistic personality disorder is characterised by a constant feeling of superiority (megalomania), a need to be admired and a lack of empathy," reads the MSD Manual, the world's leading source of medical information. Narcissism comes from the Greek character Narcissus, who fell in love with his own image reflected in the water. Narcissists are, by extension, people who love and admire themselves more than they should. The concept of narcissism entered psychiatry thanks to Sigmund Freud.

The latter distinguishes between primary and secondary narcissism. Primary narcissism is a normal infantile stage during which the child learns to love himself by eroticizing his own body. Secondary narcissism is pathological. It becomes a perversion when an adult is unable to detach himself from himself in order to invest himself with others. It is important to know that a normally developing individual detaches himself from himself in order to reach out to others, while still retaining a certain amount of self-esteem.
According to the DSM-5, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, narcissistic personality disorder manifests itself by at least 5 of these symptoms (they must appear in early adulthood):

1. An overestimation of one's abilities. The narcissist believes that his or her skills and accomplishments are extraordinary. Therefore, he/she must be considered superior to others.
2. The impression of being unique. The narcissist believes that he/she is special and therefore should only communicate with special, high-ranking people.
3. A constant and excessive need to be liked and admired.
4. An obsession with power, success and beauty.
5. A lack of empathy. The narcissist sees only himself or herself and therefore cannot be interested in the needs and feelings of others.
6. Arrogance and a haughty attitude.
7. A need to manipulate others to get their way.
8. A feeling that others envy him/her.
9. A feeling of entitlement.

The different profiles of narcissistic personalities

The American psychologist Theodore Milton, one of the specialists in personality disorders, distinguished several profiles of narcissistic personalities who act differently:

• The manipulative narcissist. He has no qualms about using others to get what he wants.
• The seductive narcissist. They use their irresistible charm to manipulate others. The seduction is physical but also intellectual.
• The passive-aggressive narcissist. He considers others to be less good than he is and constantly complains about his incompetence.
• The elitist narcissist. They love power and domination and show it with a haughty attitude.
• The fanatical narcissist. They think big and always want more than they have because they believe they deserve it.

These different profiles have, however, been discussed on several occasions by specialists because the same narcissistic person can display several profiles at the same time. They would then only be variants of the same disorder. Also, certain characteristics of narcissistic disorder are found in other personality disorders. It is therefore difficult to put a single label on a personality, because of its complexity. We also note that pathological narcissists often suffer from other disorders such as depression (following one or more failures that they have not been able to cope with), anorexia nervosa, a substance abuse disorder or a personality disorder (borderline or paranoid).

Narcissistic personality disorder: what are the risk factors?

There are many possible causes of narcissistic personality disorder. The risk factors are both genetic and environmental:

• Having received a strict upbringing where one always had to excel in order to be rewarded or, conversely, having received an overly lax upbringing where compliments flowed and admiration was boundless.
• A lack of self-esteem that makes one lose the means at the slightest failure. To hide this fragility, narcissists make others believe that they are sure of themselves and good at everything. This lack of esteem is also reflected in the fact that they envy people whom they (secretly) consider to be better than themselves.
• A trauma suffered in the past (abuse, aggression, betrayal). Narcissism is then a defence mechanism to avoid being destroyed again.
• Narcissistic parents who have never taught their children empathy and modesty.

How to act when faced with a narcissist?

There are two schools of thought on this subject: those who advocate opposition and those who favour empathy.

Opposing the narcissist

Narcissistic behaviour, if repeated, is often unbearable for the people who suffer it. It becomes tempting to say "stop! This reaction can be useful to make the narcissistic person understand that his or her behaviour is selfish and that you do not like it: "I would like you to stop talking about yourself so that I can talk to you about what worries or pleases me at the moment. This conversation is an exchange", "You're just putting down other people, but are they as incompetent as you say? The idea is to put them in their place, without being mean. The idea is to put them in their place, without being mean. In a relationship, the narcissist will always want to hold the reins, make them understand that they are not alone and that if they want the relationship to last, they will have to leave you some space.

Being tolerant of the narcissist

To do this, it is useful to understand the origin of the person's narcissism (strict or too flexible upbringing, old trauma, etc.) to better understand them and tolerate their behaviour. To congratulate them on what they have achieved only when it is deserved, but without exaggerating so as not to put them on a pedestal. Since narcissists cannot stand the success of others, it is better to remain discreet about their own successes and privileges so as not to arouse their jealousy and provoke a surge of egocentricity by way of overkill. For the sake of the relationship, and if you can stand his or her behaviour, do not confront him or her, as this could weaken your relationship with this person.

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