Dover Beach - Matthew Arnold - Valentine's Day

Recursos Educativos en Inglés - Poems in English - Poesías en inglés San Valentín

Dover Beach

The sea is calm tonight.
The tide is full, the moon lies fair
Upon the straits; on the French coast the light
Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand,
Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.
Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!
Only, from the long line of spray
Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,
Listen! you hear the grating roar
Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,
At their return, up the high strand,
Begin, and cease, and then again begin,
With tremulous cadence slow, and bring
The eternal note of sadness in.

Sophocles long ago
Heard it on the Ægean, and it brought
Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow
Of human misery; we
Find also in the sound a thought,
Hearing it by this distant northern sea.

The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth’s shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world.

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

By Matthew Arnold

Matthew Arnold was an English poet, critic and theologian who also worked as a school inspector. He was the son of the famed headmaster of Rugby School Thomas Arnold, to whom Thomas Hughes paid homage in his novel Tom Brown's Schooldays. His brother Tom Arnold was the grandfather of Aldous Huxley and Julian Huxley.

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What does it mean if someone is complacent?

It is not always easy to know how to react when faced with someone who is complacent, that is, in another sense of the word, someone who acquiesces to our tastes and feelings in order to please us.

Does being complacent make friends?

The Latin author Terence wrote in The Andrian, in Carthage, around 185-159 BC: "Obsequim amicos, veritas adium parit", i.e.: "Complacency makes friends, frankness breeds hatred". And yet: something that is done out of complacency, in reality, is conducted or manifested only out of politeness, but is neither true, nor profound, nor felt. Complacency is then defined as the disposition of one who seeks to please by adapting to someone's tastes or desires.

Can we, therefore, consider that friendship could come from such an expression of falseness, such a façade attitude? This seems, in fact, far removed from a real friendship, which is meant to be sincere, which requires being oneself in depth with the other. It also requires expressing oneself as one is, knowing how to listen to the other person without lying to him or her, or giving an inaccurate or falsified reflection of oneself. And so, this friendship as described by Terence would only be fake, and, in reality, a real friendship must allow anyone to tell his friend, without false pretenses or false admiration, his mistakes and flaws: which is, for a close friend, for an intimate, the only possibility to truly move forward.

Don't give in to easy compliments

But in everyday life, we are rarely the victims of complacency that goes so far as to cover up a crime... We are more likely to be the victims of petty everyday compliments that lack depth and reality. A word of advice here: don't give in to the ease of unrestrained, uncritical compliments.

Even more harmful, perhaps, is the complacency of a father or mother towards their children, which induces in this parent an indulgence that is often blameworthy, and even dangerous for the good development of the child. Here, we recall the role of the superego in all its complexity, which, playing the role of an integration of parental authority, will be contrary to any form of complacency, understood here as an excess of indulgence. The parent must be made to face up to his or her responsibility, because it is indeed a question of teaching children limits. Setting limits means, above all, saying no to them, setting the framework.

Keeping your authenticity

Finally, in the face of an act of complacency that is merely an excessive display of politeness, but is in no way true, nor profound, and even less the expression of a real feeling, we suggest this act of intimate resistance: keeping one's authenticity, not letting oneself be fooled by appearances, nor by false compliments. Perhaps we can also bring the complacent person to realise this lack of fairness towards others, this falseness in his attitude and words? And, then, allow them to reopen the question of the quality of their relationship with others.

We could perhaps also use the somewhat familiar expression: "You must not let yourself be eaten", which was regularly used by the priest Jean Castelein, a veteran of the Second World War. Jean Castelein, who later became a demanding and committed chaplain, called for constant vigilance and suggested that we engage in a profound and daily resistance, leading each of us to move towards our true authenticity. In short, he called on us not to be taken in by the sirens of appearance. To remain authentic. True to oneself and to one's values.

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Compassion: A response to the suffering of others

Compassion is an emotion that helps us to better understand and live with others. However, we must be careful of the pitfalls of compassion.

What is compassion?

Compassion comes from the Latin cum patior, which means "to suffer with".

Compassion is caring about someone who is suffering, without trying to feel what they are feeling themselves, which is what empathy is. Compassion is the emotion we can hold in front of the misery of others. It implies a feeling of benevolence with a willingness to help the person who is suffering.

To be able to be compassionate, we need to be empathetic. We imagine what the sufferer is going through, and that is why we are touched by that suffering.

It is possible to train for compassion, to cultivate it. Neuroscience research has shown that the plasticity of the brain is such that after a certain 3 months of compassion training the grey matter of the social-emotional brain has increased.

The benefits of compassion

Compassion is a moral feeling. It helps us to understand others better and to make them happier.

Compassion also has physical benefits for the person who feels it: studies have shown that people who show compassion have an increased level of endorphins, hormones of well-being and happiness. So being compassionate would make you happier! Other studies have concluded that compassion makes it possible to produce 100% more DHEA, a hormone that counteracts the effects of ageing.

The dangers of compassion

Compassion is essential to life in society but it can also be dangerous. Being too compassionate can prevent us from thinking about ourselves. Furthermore, compassion is manipulable and can be used by those who have things to sell or ideas to put across. Excessive compassion is also a pitfall of compassion. It is the prerogative of people who do not care about the other person's feelings. Rather than imagining what is right for them, they focus on what feels right for themselves.

Compassion can also make people sick. For example, people who are confronted with the suffering of others on a daily basis, such as health professionals or therapists, can suffer from compassion fatigue. Constant contact with the suffering of others leads to a kind of burn-out. Those who suffer from it show various symptoms: feelings of powerlessness, lack of energy, anger, depression, etc.

Compassion: the right balance

Too little compassion is bad. It constitutes a loss of humanity. Too much compassion can also be harmful. So we need to find the right balance.

Caring about how others feel is important. True compassion is about sharing what the other person is feeling, not necessarily about acting. It is just opening up to the feelings that we most often experience spontaneously in the face of another's distress. We are not necessarily able to respond to this suffering.

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Friendship’s Mystery, To my Dearest Lucasia - Valentine's Day

Recursos Educativos en Inglés - Poems in English - Poesías en inglés San Valentín

Friendship’s Mystery, To my Dearest Lucasia

1

Come, my Lucasia, since we see
That Miracles Mens faith do move,
By wonder and by prodigy
To the dull angry world let’s prove
There’s a Religion in our Love.

2

For though we were design’d t’ agree,
That Fate no liberty destroyes,
But our Election is as free
As Angels, who with greedy choice
Are yet determin’d to their joyes.

3

Our hearts are doubled by the loss,
Here Mixture is Addition grown ;
We both diffuse, and both ingross :
And we whose minds are so much one,
Never, yet ever are alone.

4

We court our own Captivity
Than Thrones more great and innocent :
’Twere banishment to be set free,
Since we wear fetters whose intent
Not Bondage is, but Ornament.

5

Divided joyes are tedious found,
And griefs united easier grow :
We are our selves but by rebound,
And all our Titles shuffled so,
Both Princes, and both Subjects too.

6

Our Hearts are mutual Victims laid,
While they (such power in Friendship lies)
Are Altars, Priests, and Off’rings made :
And each Heart which thus kindly dies,
Grows deathless by the Sacrifice.

By Katherine Fowler Philips

Katherine Fowler Philips, known as the "incomparable Orinda", was an Anglo-Welsh poet and translator, best known for her poems of passionate friendship between women.

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Non-verbal communication: decoding body language

What is non-verbal communication?

Non-verbal communication includes many communicative processes such as outward appearance, spatial relationship behaviours (approaching, distancing), body movements (nodding, eyebrow raising, shoulder shrugging), facial expressions, gazes or vocal intonations.

Although little known, non-verbal phenomena are very important in human communication and are used in several fields such as oratory and dramatic arts, the sign language of certain communities (deaf people, monks)...

This type of communication reinforces and gives credibility to verbal communication when it is adapted, but can discredit it when it is not. According to the American researcher Mehrabian, 7% of communication is verbal, 38% of communication is vocal and 55% of communication is neither verbal nor vocal. It is our nature to quickly judge others by their attitude, their beauty, their intelligence, their movements. Animals give us an example of non-verbal communication: they communicate with each other through specific systems comprising signals of various kinds: sound, gestures, mimics, postures, chemicals, heat, touch, electricity, etc.

There are several disciplines interested in non-verbal communication, including biology, neuroscience, sociology and psychology.

Classification of non-verbal signs

Several classifications of non-verbal signs have been developed in the literature. Marino Bonaiuto's classification from 2007 arranges them on a scale from top to bottom, from the most obvious to the least obvious signs.

• External appearance: physical training, figure, choice of clothing.
• Spatial behaviour: interpersonal distance, body contact, orientation in space, perfume.
• Kinetic behaviour: trunk and leg movements, hand gestures, head movements.
• The face: gaze and eye contact, facial expression.
• Vocal signs: verbal vocal signs with paraverbal meaning, non-verbal vocal signs, silences. Among the latter, Trager distinguishes between voice quality (tone, resonance and articulation control) and vocalisations (crying, sighing, laughing, voice timbre, intensity, extension, vocal segregations such as "hum").

Designating and illustrating speech

Certain gestures are made to accompany the statement.

• Designating gestures. These are the pointing gestures we make when we want to show something.
• Illustrative gestures. These are the gestures that mimic the action or show certain characteristics of the object we are talking about. These gestures abound especially in descriptions of objects and in stories.

Thus, when a person present in the discussion is mentioned, he or she is almost always pointed to (by digital pointing, nodding or at least looking), when "my heart was beating very fast" is said, the hand is placed on the heart or a heartbeat is mimed, and the "my" in "if you want my opinion" will almost always be accompanied by a self-centred gesture.

All these signs can form a system complex enough to build languages with a repertoire and syntax, such as the language of the deaf.

Dialogue coordination gestures

In dialogue, certain gestures do not serve to sustain the dialogue but to coordinate it, to ensure that the statements are received, understood and interpreted. In order to mutualise the exchange, there is a device for interaction, sharing and maintenance of speech, consisting of various gestures such as head nods, gaze shifts, throat clears, preparatory breaths, hand gestures, changes of posture.

When we speak, we need to make sure that we are heard, listened to, understood and know what the other person thinks of what we say. To do this, we must catch the receiver's gaze, and look for retroactive cues in the form of voco-verbal and kinesic emissions (mimics of doubt or perplexity, nods, head movements, smiles, etc.). When these non-verbal cues are not enough, the sender can use verbal communication to clarify the interaction: "do you understand what I mean?

Communicating emotions

There are also gestures that belong to "affective communication", which itself has two aspects: emotional and emotive.

Emotional communication corresponds to the spontaneous manifestations of the interlocutors' inner states, such as trembling, paleness, sweating, crying, laughing, surprise, annoyance, etc.
Emotional communication is the result of "affective work", according to Hochschild, which "allows for the controlled staging of real or even potential or not really experienced affects". We can make the other person believe that we are sad through our attitudes when in reality we are not affected.

In everyday life, emotional communication is more important than emotional communication. In an interaction situation, speakers will therefore, according to the rules of affective framing, manage their own feelings, manage the expression of these real or displayed feelings, and try to perceive the analogous movements in progress in their partner.

Contextual elements of communication

There are certain non-verbal elements that create a contextual climate and are part of verbal communication. Some of these elements remain permanent during the encounter, such as clothing, age, gender, beauty. Others reflect an accommodation of the situation, such as the techniques for making contact and opening up the interaction with various modes of verbal address, gestural exchanges, mimics and tactile gestures: kisses, handshakes, hugs, depending on the category of partners and the reciprocal status. The gaze can also express the intimacy of the relationship, as well as the hold, dominance and reciprocity.
For example, the smaller the interpersonal distance, the less eye contact and the less direct the body orientation.

Observation of non-verbal communication

To study non-verbal communication, carefully observe people communicating. Observe how they behave towards each other, both to communicate and to 'keep their distance'. Observe rituals, strategies for occupying space, postures, choice of seats, non-verbal language without paying attention to what is being said.

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World Cancer Day, 4 February

World Cancer Day is an annual event, launched by the International Union Against Cancer (UICC) in collaboration with the WHO, which invites citizens, organisations and government institutions around the world to join forces to fight the global cancer epidemic. The campaign theme for 2022 - 2024 is "For fairer care".

The rapid rise in the burden of cancer is attributed to profound changes in lifestyle, such as unhealthy eating, smoking, lack of physical activity, exposure to environmental hazards and other lifestyle risk factors.

In fact, 40% of cancers are potentially preventable, 40% are treatable and 20% are treated for palliative purposes.

Many cost-effective strategies have been proven to reduce the burden of cancer.

WHO and its partners are working to strengthen the capacity of countries to detect and manage cancer early, with a particular focus on the regional priority areas of cancer prevention and control.

In response to the major gaps in palliative care in the Region and the high proportion of cancer patients in advanced stages of the disease, the Regional Office organised several training sessions for doctors and medical staff in palliative care services. Their aim was to highlight the use of the WHO protocol for the integration of palliative care into primary health care in order to expand services and empower primary health care staff.

At present, resources for cancer control throughout the Region are both insufficient and almost exclusively directed towards treatment.

In the case of breast cancer, which is the most common cancer among women in the Region, the countries are strongly committed to screening and early detection. In some countries in the Region, such as Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Morocco, Oman and Saudi Arabia, training and community awareness of early detection of breast cancer are priority interventions. Primary health care professionals play a key role in raising women's awareness of the problem and in the early detection of breast abnormalities.

WHO is helping countries to :

• Encourage policy and decision makers to mobilize more funds and secure resources for cancer prevention, early detection, treatment and palliative care;
• Strengthen national capacity for cancer control, including training of human resources and implementation of regional guidelines for cancer registries or palliative care;
• Encourage the integration of cancer prevention and screening programmes into primary health care by building institutional capacity in low- and middle-income countries;
• Improve cancer registries and information systems in countries where these are limited, or establish them where they do not exist;
• promote healthy lifestyles and tobacco control to combat the major causes of cancer;
• Strengthen palliative care services, including reviewing legislation on painkillers and expanding home-based palliative care programmes;
• Promote national and regional networking between cancer programmes and professionals.

Based on data on the prevalence of the two major risk factors (smoking and obesity) for cancer and other non-communicable diseases, it is clear that in many countries cancer prevention must become a priority. Significant efforts will be needed to reduce the prevalence of key risk factors in order to control cancer more effectively.

The regional cancer control strategy should provide the basis for a comprehensive, coordinated and resource-oriented national approach.

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How to recognise an opportunist?

An opportunist adapts his or her behaviour to the circumstances and the people he or she is dealing with in order to always take advantage of a situation. An attitude that generally disregards all moral principles.

What is opportunism?

It is an attitude that consists of adapting one's behaviour and ideas in order to make the most of a situation, even if it means compromising moral principles.

This way of putting one's interests before morality was described by the American economist Oliver Eaton Williamson in his work on "The Institutions of the Economy", published in 1985. He describes opportunism as a behavioural strategy based on fraudulent actions to gain an advantage.

How does opportunism manifest itself?

An opportunistic person will generally tend to put his or her own interests ahead of others through several types of behaviour such as manipulation and lying.

Opportunism can occur in the workplace, but also in relationships. It is most often associated with other faults such as selfishness, individualism or being calculating.

Can opportunism also be a quality?

Opportunism is not unanimously considered a flaw. For some, it is rather the ability to seize opportunities as they arise. Being opportunistic is a very good thing. Without it, humans would not have the capacity to adapt to survive.

A capacity to adapt to one's environment and to the person with whom one is dealing, sometimes valued in the professional world. Because opportunism can also be seen as a form of ambition where audacity, self-confidence, determination, observation or even anticipation are necessary to make a chance.

A game of strategy in which benevolence often has no place. In general, when we say that someone is an opportunist, it is a tribute to their intelligence but not a praise of their level of ethics. Because being opportunistic is mainly characterised by putting one's own interests ahead of others.

Testimony: I was in a relationship with an opportunistic man

When she fell in love with David in 2015, Sara did not immediately perceive the opportunism of her companion. "We had vaguely crossed paths at a party several years ago. I learned from a friend that he was looking for a company to complete his final year of a master's degree in the IT sector. I kindly put him in touch with my father, the technical director of a company. He offered me a drink to thank me, it was the first time we met again. I immediately fell in love with him.

David and Sara moved in together two months later. "At the end of his six-month internship, thanks to his performance and my father's support, he got a fixed-term contract and then a permanent contract.

Although the relationship seemed to be on the up and up, it quickly deteriorated when the girl's father resigned to join another company a year later. "I felt his behaviour change. He became less and less present until one evening the tone rose. After pestering him with questions, he confessed to me that his desire to seduce me had been motivated by my father's high position, that our relationship was the result of an unfortunate spiral and that he had not dared to leave me to preserve his professional advancement."

Hurt and burned by her break-up, Sara took a long time to trust again. "I felt manipulated. I also felt very guilty for not having recognised the signs of an opportunistic relationship. But even with hindsight, I don't think I could have anticipated such deception. Today, I am much more attentive to the interests that drive a person towards me. I want my future partner to think that being in a relationship with me is a great opportunity to be even happier. A healthy, shared opportunism."

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