martes, 22 de febrero de 2022

The adolescent crisis

The adolescent crisis

The idea of a crisis in adolescence has come so far that some have come to proclaim that its absence is a prognosis for future imbalance in adult life.
It all starts with a theory established by Stanley Hall at the beginning of the twentieth century, which does not conceive of adolescence without "a long and painful road of ascent" marked by "experiences of storm and tension", "moments of turbulence and uncertainty" or "forms of behaviour, from the most unstable and unpredictable to the most morbid and disturbed."

Peter Blos followed suit, emphasising "the inevitable tensions and conflicts caused by the adolescent's need for independence from his parents", as did a number of social scientists (Coleman and then Keniston), for whom the adolescent experience inevitably leads to "conflicts between young people and their parents and between the adolescent generation and the adult generations".

In 1936, Debesse published La crise d'originalité juvénile (The crisis of juvenile originality), which definitively sealed the image of the violent, masturbating, disrespectful and disturbing adolescent. Reinforced by "the conviction that the generations of adolescents are entangled in a destructive conflict", the presuppositions about this identity crisis during adolescence are then slowly but surely imposed, without regard for the voices that come out in the opposite direction.

Yet associating the term 'crisis', which refers to 'the sudden worsening of a pathological condition', with a life passage may seem inappropriate, even brutal. Clinical psychologist Julian Dalmasso prefers the idea of a "decisive moment that can be perilous" rather than "serious and regrettable".

The reality of the crisis

In reality, empirical research, which has provided a very large amount of data, does not in any way validate the reality of the crisis in adolescence. On the contrary, it supports a certain emotional stability of adolescents, which runs counter to the image of stressed, violent and disrespectful youth provided by Hall, Freud and many others.

The famous conflict operating between the teenager and the parents does not seem more realistic according to the studies which confirm that "the typical pattern of relationship between the teenage and adult generations has more harmony than disagreement, more affection than alienation and more devotion than rejection of family life". The conquest of autonomy and identity therefore does not necessarily involve rupture and detachment. On the contrary, authors such as Petersen, Rutter or Raja have begun to link "the accentuated conflict with parents", "the constant devaluation of the family", "the weak attachment to parents during adolescence" to "anti-social behaviour", "situations of persistent depression" and "good indicators of psychological maladjustment".

The implications of the crisis discourse are numerous. It is believed that this theory has "strongly conditioned the thinking of mental health professionals" and contributed to "failing to recognise all the new potentialities of the psychological process of adolescence with the risk of not seeing its positive elements; understanding adolescence only superficially". Unfortunately, as Weiner writes, "once myths flourish, it is extremely difficult to dispel them."

Changes during adolescence

Adolescents undergo many changes, whether physiological, psychological or behavioural:

  • In girls: development of breasts, genitalia, hair growth, appearance of first menstruation.
  • In boys: voice moult, hair growth, bone and stature growth, spermatogenesis.
  • In both sexes : modification of body shape, increase in muscular capacity, physical strength, remodelling of body image, fixation on external body appearance, various tendencies towards excess, dubious hygiene and great instability, need to break with one's childhood, with one's desires, ideals, models of identification, profound cognitive and moral transformations, acquisition of formal operative thinking (a type of reasoning described as abstract, hypothetico-deductive, combinatorial and propositional).

Adolescent health problems

Adolescence is a period that predisposes individuals to certain conditions, some of the most common of which are

  • Dysmorphophobia. Linked to pubertal transformations, they designate a psychological disorder characterised by a preoccupation or an excessive obsession with a defect in appearance, even a slight but real imperfection. If an anatomical element does not seem to conform, the adolescent will tend to focus on it and to dramatise.
  • Spasmophilia. Characterised by tingling skin, contractures and breathing difficulties, this is a major concern for adolescents.
  • Headaches and abdominal pain. These can occur after a conflict or an episode of depression.
  • Digestive disorders and back pain. These affect almost a quarter of adolescents repeatedly.
  • Sleep disorders. Sleep disorders, which are partly responsible for the feelings of great tiredness that they say they suffer, are mainly manifested by difficulties in falling asleep and waking up.
  • Sprains, fractures, dizziness, anxiety attacks, sweating and sore throats complete the classic adolescent picture.

You may also like to read / También te puede interesar leer

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lunes, 21 de febrero de 2022

Angry children and tantrums: how to manage them?

Angry children and tantrums: how to manage them?

How does a child's opposition manifest itself?

A child's opposition can manifest itself in different ways. If the child rolls around on the floor, answers all your questions with "no" and cries without being able to explain what he or she is feeling, then he or she is probably having an oppositional "crisis". These signs show that he is gradually discovering his individuality. He is torn between the desire to do things by himself and the need to be helped by his parents. This contradictory state can destabilise parents who, despite their efforts, fail to understand what the child really wants.

By discovering that he is independent and has his own desires and emotions, the child seeks to know his limits but also yours. He is torn between different feelings: to leave or to stay, to want or to refuse, etc. It is therefore difficult for parents to help them and keep them happy.

Sometimes it only takes a few minutes for him to trick his parents and get what he wants. By creating a crisis, he knows that it can be a way to get what he wants, it is a test that he makes the adults around him pass. Moreover, his fits do not have the same duration and intensity depending on the people involved.

But these seizures can also, quite simply, reflect the child's state of stress and fatigue. If the child feels bad, tired, hungry or isolated and misunderstood, he or she may resort to crying and screaming to get attention and ask for help.

Where do these tantrums come from?

Faced with dilemmas that he cannot resolve, his anger and frustration take over and lead to rather violent outbursts. By venting in this way, the child is venting the rage that he or she can no longer control and cannot yet express verbally. Sometimes it is simply to obtain a treat or a toy that he will start a tantrum. By entering into a power struggle with the adult of reference, he hopes to obtain the object of his desire or to be heard.

How do I deal with my child's tantrums?

Giving in is an admission of weakness that the child will soon use regularly. You must therefore be firm, even in public when the situation seems shameful and/or insoluble and even if the place is not ideal for isolating him. This is also a necessary limit. Indeed, in order to structure himself, the child needs to come up against the firmness of his parents and their limits. They need to get to know frustration and integrate it into the feelings they will have to deal with in their future lives. Many parents do not dare to set limits for fear of "hurting" their child, but in order to be happy, the child needs to feel secure in a framework where rules are imposed.
However, you need to give them space and support them in their quest for independence. For example, let him take the initiative on a daily basis, show him what to do, and encourage him when it is his turn.
Finally, try to divert his attention if you feel that a crisis is imminent. Offer to play or sing, for example. This will make it easier to relieve the pressure and avoid a major crisis. And to prevent the situation from getting too heated, never shout at him. Instead, stay calm and talk to him. When faced with a soothing tone of voice from a parent, the child will find it easier to calm down and listen carefully to what you have to say.

At what age do these tantrums disappear?

As the child becomes more able to speak and express him/herself, these tantrums tend to disappear on their own. It is therefore around the age of 3 that the child succeeds in speaking to defuse its discomfort. However, the crying and screaming do not disappear. They are simply reduced in duration and intensity and now make way for a possible discussion and verbalisation of their emotions.

With experience, parents anticipate risk situations with regard to their child's tantrums. It is therefore much easier for them to limit the damage and prevent it. But if the child does have a tantrum, don't panic. Stay firm and don't give in to them, they are just continuing their normal development by finding out what they are and are not allowed to do.

You may also like to read / También te puede interesar leer

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The blues: What can you do to put a smile on your face?

The blues: What can you do to put a smile on your face?

What could be more human than to feel a drop in morale from time to time? Depending on the person, who is more or less sensitive to light, this can happen more often in winter than in summer. Whatever the case, there are several ways to regain our enthusiasm and joie de vivre, by following the following tips.

In this article, you will find all our tips on how to find a lasting smile.

A bout of the blues: temporary low spirits or depression

Depending on how you feel and how often you experience these blues, you will not react in the same way. A real depression is very different from the temporary blues.

The difference lies mainly in the duration of the attitudes: lasting loss of interest in any activity, change in weight and sleeping habits, intense sadness most of the time with changing moods, difficulty in concentrating, especially in working.

If these elements persist over time, it is advisable to consult a health professional quickly, without hesitating to mention all the symptoms. In this case of depression, your willpower alone or the good words of those around you are not enough, and this is normal.

If these symptoms are temporary, we speak of depression, which can be overcome alone, with the help of a few ideas.

How to react?

Physical activity

When the dark thoughts become more numerous, it is often a question of getting the body back on track first. Doing sport makes you feel better in your body and therefore in your head. The brain triggers the secretion of endorphins and serotonin (a natural antidepressant) during physical exertion, giving you that pleasant feeling of euphoria when you are in the middle of a sport. Sport also boosts confidence and self-esteem.

Exposure to daylight

It is no coincidence that we often feel more depressed in winter, when the days are shorter. Daylight is essential for a good mood. It is necessary to get more than one hour of exposure per day, otherwise the body functions as if it were night all the time, with its attendant lack of energy and slowed metabolism. Sunlight is more effective in the morning or at noon, and will recharge your batteries with vitamin D, keeping your spirits high.

Eating a balanced diet

Along with physical activity, eating well and taking care of yourself, without forgetting the pleasure of eating, is another essential aspect of keeping a positive state of mind. Give preference to fresh fruit, especially for your snacks, bearing in mind that you should prepare "triangular" plates for your meals, including proteins (fish, meat, eggs, etc.), vegetables and starchy foods. Certain foods are particularly recommended in the event of temporary depression, as they contain large quantities of important minerals for the brain.

Thus, if you are looking to alleviate great fatigue or irritability, make up for your lack of magnesium by eating nuts and dried fruit and chocolate in moderation.

Tryptophan, an amino acid that is largely responsible for our zest for life (because it produces serotonin), can be found in good quantities in bananas.

Oats, wholemeal cereals and legumes are also rich in tryptophan.

Finally, don't forget green vegetables, which are rich in vitamin B (correcting many disorders) and fatty fish oils, rich in omega 3, such as salmon and mackerel. But the main idea here is to enjoy eating in times of depression.

Talk, write and practice gratitude

If you can find a sympathetic and trusting ear, talking about the few worries that are weighing you down can go beyond resolving them to relieving a lot of nervous tension. Talking to a psychologist or other health professional is of course even better, in order to express the emotions that overwhelm us during moments of depression.

If we can't talk, writing down what is bothering us inside often has the same effect, because writing allows us to distance ourselves from our problems. We can even try to write down three things each day for which we feel grateful. If practised regularly, gratitude can help us to feel more joyful and satisfied with our lives.

Do something that makes us feel good

... whether it's reading a good book, watching a series or a film that makes you laugh, having a drink with a friend, taking a hot bubble bath, getting a massage, gardening, drawing or colouring: all ideas to escape and pamper yourself are welcome! It's all about being kind to yourself.

Meditation and yoga

Known for their positive effects on the mind and positivity, meditation and yoga can quickly become an asset in your fight against depression. If you don't have a friend or club nearby, there are many applications on the internet that make it easy to practice, even for beginners.

You may also like to read / También te puede interesar leer

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Coulrophobia: All about the clown phobia

Coulrophobia: all about the clown phobia

With his big red nose, his multicoloured make-up and his extravagant attire, the clown marks the spirits during childhood, by his comical side. However, he can also represent a frightening image for some people. Coulrophobia, or phobia of clowns, is nowadays widely reported in novels and films.

What is coulrophobia?

The word "coulrophobia" comes from the ancient Greek, coulro meaning acrobat on stilts, and phobia, fear. Coulrophobia thus refers to the unexplained fear of clowns. Classified as a specific phobia, this fear of clowns stems from a single source of anxiety related to the clown, and cannot be caused by another phobia.

Like any phobia, the subject may experience, in the presence of the object of fear

  • nausea
  • digestive problems
  • accelerated heart rate
  • excessive sweating
  • possibly an anxiety attack
  • panic attack
  • ploys to avoid the presence of clowns.

What causes the fear of clowns?

There are several reasons that can explain the phobia of clowns:

  1. The impossibility of deciphering a person's face, which is then perceived as threatening: this is the most "rational" reason, as it is linked to the fear of appearance, which is archaic in humans, and considered a survival reflex. It signifies an inability to analyse others because their features are hidden by make-up or a mask, which is seen as a potential danger;
  2. A traumatic fear experienced in childhood or adolescence: an event experienced in the past can leave such a mark that we develop a phobia, often unconsciously. A relative in disguise who frightened us at a birthday party, or a masked person at a party, for example, can cause coulrophobia;
  3. Finally, the impact that popular culture has on scary clowns and other masked characters (the Joker in Batman, the murderous clown in Stephen King's saga, "it"...) is not insignificant in the development of this phobia. This may concern adults more, and without directly developing a phobia, maintain an already present fear.

How to overcome coulrophobia?

As is often the case with phobias, the origin of the fear must be sought. This can be done using one of the following techniques:

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is available to help you overcome your fears. In this therapy, the patient and a therapist try to confront the object of his or her fear through practical exercises based on the patient's behaviour and reactions. In this way, one becomes familiar with the object of fear (the clown, the image of a circus, a masked birthday party, etc.), desensitising the fear.

Neuro-linguistic programming

NLP allows different approaches to treatment. Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) will look at the way humans function in a given environment, based on their behavioural patterns. By using certain methods and tools, NLP will help the individual to change their perception of the world around them. This will change their initial behaviours and conditioning, by operating in the structure of their world view. In the case of a phobia, this method is particularly suitable.

EMDR

EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, uses sensory stimulation through eye movements, but also through auditory or tactile stimuli.

This method allows the stimulation of a complex neuropsychological mechanism present in each of us. This stimulation allows us to reprocess moments experienced as traumatic and not digested by our brain, which can be at the origin of very disabling symptoms, such as phobias.

Hypnosis

Hypnosis is finally an effective tool to find the origins of the phobia and thus seek solutions. The patient is dissociated from the phobia, in order to regain more flexibility in daily life. Ericksonian hypnosis can also be tried: a brief therapy, it can be used to treat anxiety disorders that escape psychotherapy.

Curing it in children... and adults

It is possible to start desensitising a fear at an early stage, especially in children, who have been made to feel insecure by clowns or masked people.

For them, the fear is mainly a lack of experience of the situation they are encountering: it is therefore a question of gently confronting situations experienced as stressful, without rushing or fleeing, by gradually desensitising the traumatic experience.

In some cases, the fear of clowns can be reduced without any particular treatment once the child has left. For others, who will keep this phobia into adulthood, they may choose a behavioural method to remedy it, and why not watch films about frightening clowns, in order to make the difference between "bad" fictional characters, and clowns encountered in the past or in everyday life, of the order of a funny and amusing character.

You may also like to read / También te puede interesar leer

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domingo, 20 de febrero de 2022

Cómo usar To y for - Diferencias

Cómo usar To y for - Diferencias

Gramática Inglesa - English Grammar - Recursos Educativos en inglés

To y for son de esas palabras difíciles de usar. Son especialmente problemáticas en la escritura, incluso para quienes tienen un buen nivel de inglés.

To y For suelen ser preposiciones, pero no siempre. Por ejemplo, podemos utilizar TO para marcar el infinitivo de un verbo. To play significa jugar, en infinitivo. También los utilizamos a veces para crear verbos compuestos (los famosos phrasal verbs, como look for, plan for, etc.).

Tomemos un primer ejemplo:

She want work to earn money. Ella quiere trabajar para ganar dinero.
This is for you. Esto es para ti

Podemos ver la diferencia aquí: en un caso, hay un verbo (earn). En el otro caso, hay un sustantivo, o grupo de sustantivos (for you).

Esta es la primera regla:

Cuando queramos expresar la meta, el motivo, el objetivo, el objeto, pondremos:

TO + Verbo o FOR + sustantivo

Hay una excepción:

Podremos ver FOR + verbo en ING, cuando hablemos del uso de un objeto. Por ejemplo, al responder a la pregunta "What is it for ?" It’s a mug, it’s for drinking coffe. ¿Para qué sirve? Es una taza, es para beber café.

La segunda regla, se refiere principalmente al TO:

Cuando haya una noción de transferencia, o de dirección con movimiento, utilizaremos To.

  1. Give this to María.
  2. I’m going to Spain tomorrow.
  3. Please, talk to me.

En su defecto, diremos:

This present is for María. Es un estado, no existe la noción de transferencia.

Regla 2: Noción de transferencia, de movimiento, utilizaremos TO.

Hasta aquí las dos formas principales de elegir entre To y For.

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  • Adjetivos y pronombres demostrativos en Inglés
  • Pronombres Posesivos en inglés - Possessive Pronouns
  • Adjetivos Posesivos en Inglés - Possessive adjectives
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  • Uso de whose en inglés - Pronombres relativos
  • Who, which y that - Pronombres Relativos en inglés
  • Was going to - El futuro en el pasado
  • DO y MAKE en inglés ¿Cuáles son las diferencias?
  • Cuándo usar Since, For, Ago: ¿Cuáles son las diferencias?
  • The Gerund - El gerundio en inglés
  • El Imperativo en Inglés - Imperative
  • El comparativo y el superlativo en inglés
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  • Preguntas con WH-Questions 02 - When, Which, Whose, How
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  • Adjectives - Los Adjetivos en Inglés
  • Uso de some / any acompañando nombres contables/incontables
  • Modal verbs - Verbos modales en inglés
  • El tiempo futuro en inglés
  • Present Perfect Progressive - Presente perfecto progresivo
  • Present perfect - El presente perfecto inglés
  • Pretérito progresivo o continuo en inglés
  • Simple past - El pretérito o pasado simple en inglés
  • Presente continuo - Forma Afirmativa - English grammar
  • Presente continuo - Forma Negativa
  • Puntuación en inglés - All about punctuation in English
  • Los verbos Auxiliares en inglés - Auxiliary Verbs
  • Verbos irregulares en inglés, la lista que debes conocer
  • Cómo decir la fecha en inglés - How to say the date in English
  • Construir frases simples - To build a simple sentence
  • Nombres contables e incontables en inglés
  • Presente continuo - Forma Interrogativa
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Cómo usar May y might - Verbos modales

Uso de May y Might

Gramática Inglesa - English Grammar - Recursos Educativos en inglés

May y might son modales que tienen varios significados, dependiendo del contexto. Te lo contamos a continuación.

Uso de May

La mayoría de las veces la utilizamos para expresar la incertidumbre, o la probabilidad. Si no estamos seguros de que un acontecimiento vaya a ocurrir, si no estamos seguros de una verdad, etc., lo utilizamos para expresar nuestra incertidumbre.

Ejemplos:

  • I may go to the cinema tomorrow. Puede que vaya al cine mañana.
  • Anna may come to eat with us. Puede que Anna venga a comer con nosotros.

No confundas may be con la palabra maybe, que significa "quizás, tal vez". May seguido del verbo be, es diferente de la palabra maybe.

  • I may be happy tomorrow. Puede que mañana sea feliz
  • Maybe I’m going to be happy tomorrow. Tal vez mañana sea feliz.

Otro uso de may: Hacer una pregunta de forma muy educada.

  • May I borrow your pencil please? ¿Me presta su lápiz, por favor?

Se trata de una petición expresada amablemente.

  • May I ask you a question please?

May también se utiliza para hacer un rechazo muy definitivo.

  • Por ejemplo: You may not speak here, significa que está absolutamente prohibido hablar aquí.
  • You may not do this! - ¡No puedes hacer esto!

En resumen, hay tres significados principales para May:

  • Para expresar la incertidumbre.
  • Para hacer una petición educada.
  • Para expresar una prohibición categórica.

Uso de Might

El primer significado de might es muy cercano al primer significado de may:

Para expresar la incertidumbre

En este nivel, maymight son sinónimos.

  • He might call us back, but I’m really not sure. So maybe we should call him. Puede que nos llame, pero no estoy seguro. Así que tal vez deberíamos llamarlo.

También podríamos haber dicho "He may call us back". El significado habría sido similar.

  • I might go to the beach with you, but I still have to go shopping. Puede que vaya a la playa contigo, pero todavía tengo que ir de compras.

Para hacer una pregunta (muy) educada:

Por último, al igual que podemos utilizar may en una pregunta educada, también podemos utilizar might en una pregunta para hacer una petición aún más educada.

 Might I ask you a question?

En resumen:

  • Para expresar incertidumbre, may y might tienen el mismo significado.
  • Para hacer una petición cortés o muy cortés: MAY es educado, MIGHT es aún más educado.
  • Para expresar una negativa categórica: podemos utilizar may not.

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  • Uso de some / any acompañando nombres contables/incontables
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sábado, 19 de febrero de 2022

Recipe for Mona de Pascua - Easter

recipe for making Mona de Pascua

Cooking recipes - How to Mona de pascua recipe?

Mona de Pascua is a typical recipe for Holy Week and Easter in many Spanish regions, such as Valencia, Catalonia, Murcia, Aragon and the Balearic Islands. It is usually a tradition that the godfather gives the mona to his godchild on Easter Sunday and that several families get together on Easter Monday to eat the mona together.

How to make homemade Mona de Pascua

Ingredients:

  • 500 g flour
  • 1 sachet of dry baker's yeast (12 g) or 25 g of fresh yeast (if you can't find yeast, you can substitute it with 1 tablespoon of bicarbonate of soda and the juice of ½ lemon)
  • 1/4 litre of warm milk
  • 100 g melted butter
  • 80 g sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 pinch of salt

To "paint" the dough

  • 1 egg yolk
  • 1 tablespoon of milk

For the decoration

  • Coloured anisettes, chocolate balls, sultanas, cherries for decoration, sliced almonds...
  • Boiled eggs painted with food colouring or chocolate eggs.

Steps for making mona de pascua:

  1. Put the flour in a bowl. Add the dry yeast and mix well with a fork. Add the rest of the ingredients: the butter (previously melted in the microwave), the milk, the sugar, the egg and a pinch of salt.
  2. If you do not have yeast: mix the flour, butter, sugar, milk, egg and a pinch of salt. Once the mixture is homogeneous, add the juice of half a lemon and a spoonful of bicarbonate and again stir well to mix everything together.
  3. Knead it and shape the dough into a round shape with your hands, leaving a dough like the one in the image.
  4. Cover the bowl with a cloth and put it in the oven for about 20-30 minutes at a maximum temperature of 50 degrees, leaving the oven door ajar with a wooden spoon, until we see that the dough has risen, that is, that it has visibly increased in volume. It can also be heated in the microwave by covering the bowl with a damp cloth at 80-90 watts for about 8 minutes.
  5. While the dough is rising, cover a baking tray with baking paper. Once the dough has risen, divide it into 4 or 5 parts depending on the number of "monas" you want to make and the size. Here we have to let our imagination run wild to shape the dough into the figures we want: A rabbit, a turtle, a nest, a plait, but you can make as many as you can think of, decorating with coloured balls, painted boiled eggs, slivered almonds, sugar...
  6. Put them in the oven for another 10 minutes at a maximum temperature of 50 degrees, so that the dough continues to rise. Once we have our figures ready, we mix an egg yolk with a spoonful of milk and paint the monkeys with this mixture, so that they brown in the oven. We add any decoration we can think of to finish our figures, for example, we use sultanas for the eyes, a cherry for the nose, coloured balls, chocolate balls and sliced almonds to decorate.
  7. With our figures ready and decorated, we put them in the oven preheated to 200º for about 25-30 minutes, until we see that they are ready and have taken a suitable colour.
  8. Take them out of the oven, leave them to cool, add the painted or chocolate eggs as decoration and our Easter cakes are ready to eat. Aren't they "cute"?
  9. To eat them, we can spread them with butter, jam, a bit of cheese... Accompanied by a hot chocolate, we have a great breakfast or snack for Easter, or for any occasion.

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