Self-discipline linked to asceticism: Its benefits

Asceticism is a discipline of life that consists of exercising one's will against natural tendencies of the body or the mind. Self-discipline is said to make one happier. But why? And how can we achieve more self-discipline?

What is asceticism?

Asceticism comes from the Greek word askésis, which was originally part of the sports vocabulary and refers to the demanding lifestyle adopted by athletes: diet, sleep, exercise, etc.

Asceticism implies renunciation and deprivation. It is a discipline of life. It is about imposing discipline on oneself (self-discipline) and thus exercising one's will against natural tendencies of the body or the mind. Meditation and fasting are thus ascetic practices.

This exercise of the will and discipline of life remains mostly in measure and balance. There are more extreme ascetic practices with mortifications and penances.

Self-discipline linked to asceticism: Its benefits

Self-discipline is the ability to resist impulses to achieve one's goals.

Many American psychologists and coaches have written that self-discipline makes you happy.

Self-discipline and self-care can lead to more positive emotions and general satisfaction with life.

Self-discipline allows you to give up habits that make you unhappy (eating too much sugar, staying up too late...).

Moreover, being able to delay the satisfaction of some of one's needs simply in order to achieve certain goals leads to a real feeling of self-control and this makes one happy!

How to develop more self-discipline?

Willpower works like a muscle. Self-discipline can therefore be developed like a muscle. With practice, it becomes easier to resist impulses.

Developing new habits (food, activity, method) to achieve your goals is the essence of self-discipline. It takes a little over two months to automate a new behaviour. Once it's almost automatic, you don't need to do anything else.

To motivate yourself, think of the benefits of your new lives, not the constraints!

Meditation for more self-discipline

Meditation increases willpower. This has been proven by science. A study conducted by an Italian neuroscientist has shown, for example, that people who meditated regularly for 8 weeks had strengthened the part of their brain responsible for self-control.

So to resist impulses more easily, meditate!

For example, you can practice a simple meditation exercise called mindfulness breathing.

Sit comfortably with your hands on your thighs, eyes open or closed.

Concentrate only on your breathing. Be aware of the movement of your chest and belly as you breathe, and the air that comes in and out of your nostrils. When your thoughts drift away, gently return to your breathing.

Start with a 1 minute exercise to begin with, then gradually increase to a 2 or 3 minute exercise.

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Aquaphobia: Why am I afraid of water?

Aquaphobia comes from the Latin "aqua" meaning "water" and the Greek "phobia" meaning "fear". It is a common phobia. It is characterised by a panic and unreasonable fear of water. This anxiety disorder, sometimes referred to as hydrophobia, can be disabling in everyday life, and in particular can interfere with the sufferer's leisure activities. A person suffering from aquaphobia will often not be able to get into the water, even if they have feet, and being near water will be an ordeal.

What is aquaphobia?

Water phobia is an uncontrolled fear and aversion to water. The anxiety disorder manifests itself in large bodies of water such as an ocean or a lake, but also in watery places that are under human control such as swimming pools. In some severe cases, the aquaphobic person is also unable to get into a bathtub.

Aquaphobia manifests itself to different degrees in different patients. But it should not be confused with a simple feeling of insecurity because one cannot swim or does not feel comfortable when one is not on foot, for example. In fact, in this type of case, it is a legitimate apprehension and not an aquaphobia.

Causes of aquaphobia: why am I afraid of water?

The reasons that can most often explain the panic fear of water in adulthood, are most often related to a psychological trauma dating back to childhood:

• An accidental fall into the water ;
• a drowning in the child's environment
• a memorable story overheard during a meal;
• or a parent with aquaphobia.

Often the trauma occurs when the child does not yet know how to swim, which further increases the feeling of insecurity and loss of control. Being pushed into a swimming pool at a young age or holding one's head under water for a long time as a child's "game" can sometimes leave traces in adulthood.

The symptoms of aquaphobia

Disproportionately high levels of anxiety in the vicinity of water indicate that a person is suffering from aquaphobia:

• The idea of being confronted with swimming or going out to sea on a boat puts you in a state of high anxiety;
• When you are near water, your heart rate increases;
• You have tremors;
• Sweating;
• Buzzing;
• Dizziness;
• You are afraid of dying

For some aquaphobics, the simple fact of being splashed or hearing the splash of water can trigger a state of acute stress, leading the person to decline all water-related activities.

Swimming pool courses to overcome aquaphobia

Lifeguards offer courses for adults adapted to the different degrees of aquaphobia in order to overcome the fear of water. These small group sessions are also open to people who simply want to become more comfortable in the pool.

Each participant, accompanied by a professional, will be able to tame the aquatic environment at his or her own pace thanks to breathing, immersion and floating techniques. Over the course of the lessons, some aquaphobes will be able to put their head under water and overcome their fear of depth.

Contact your local swimming pool or town hall to find out if there are any swimming lessons or aquaphobia courses near you.

What treatments are available for aquaphobia?

Cognitive behavioural therapy can also be effective in gradually improving tolerance to stressful situations and reducing the level of anxiety linked to fears.

Psychotherapy can also be useful in understanding the origin of the phobia and thus succeed in overcoming it.

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Soho, London. Information about London

Soho and Piccadilly Circus form the so-called centre of London. What was once a neighbourhood notorious for its bad reputation is now a lively, multicultural place with a special tourist attraction.

Old Compton Street is the main thoroughfare of this picturesque neighbourhood and is packed with tourists who enjoy its shops, boutiques, restaurants, as well as its popular pubs, nightclubs and a few sex shops.

Another street that stands out in Soho is Leicester Square and its surroundings, full of theatres, cinemas and nightclubs where young people party on Saturday nights.

Chinatown is also an attractive corner of Soho for people looking for oriental restaurants, exotic spice shops, fish and Asian food. Looking at the street decor in this area is like being transported to China itself.

Location: North of Piccadilly Circus

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Nightmares and night terrors: what are the differences?

Nightmares and night terrors in children

Children's sleep can be disturbed by nightmares. It is important to know how to distinguish nightmares from night terrors and to look for their origin in order to react in an appropriate way.

How do children's nightmares manifest themselves?

The nightmare is the paroxysmal manifestation of an anxiety. It occurs during the REM sleep phase - most often at the end of the night - during which the brain is in full activity. The child wakes up, cries, screams, and seems panicked. It is important to reassure, cuddle and stay with the child until he or she is completely calm. Helping them to get back in touch with reality helps them to fall back asleep. Later in the day, you should take the time to have the child tell you about the nightmare. This allows the child to express his fear, which is easier when he feels understood. Parents should therefore help them to play it down without ever making fun of them or scolding them for it.

What to do if the child has nightmares?

Nightmares are not a cause for concern as long as they occur episodically. They are even a normal part of learning. Every day the child learns, experiences very strong emotions, and nightmares are the expression of an awareness of the notion of danger. In the course of reading, watching cartoons on television and playing games, the child is confronted with characters who are not always very friendly. They learn about malice, frustration, fear, sadness and anxiety. These are all feelings that nightmares express. That is why it is advisable to talk about each of your anxious dreams during the next day.

If nightmares are frequent, they should alert the parents. This is also the case for post-traumatic nightmares, i.e. those that occur after an extremely traumatic event. It is essential that the child is treated by a specialist without delay.

Advice on how to avoid nightmares in children

In order to prevent nightmares in children, parents should take care to filter the images that they watch, particularly on television, computers or tablets. Similarly, the books available to the child should be adapted to his or her age and/or ability to understand. Any frightening situation should be explained to the child, which will reassure him/her as soon as he/she is able to understand what he/she sees or hears.

Finally, at bedtime, emotions that are too strong and likely to cause fear should be avoided. For some children, fear of the dark can cause nightmares. A small nightlight is often all that is needed to reassure them completely and allow them to sleep without nightmares.

Whatever the cause of the nightmares, it is not advisable for the child to end the night in the parents' bed. On the contrary, they should be allowed to go back to sleep in their own room. They must understand that they are as safe there as in their parents' bed. This is a more or less long learning process, but it is important for the child's development.

Advice on how to avoid nightmares in children

In order to prevent nightmares in children, parents should take care to filter the images that they watch, particularly on television, computers or tablets. Similarly, the books available to the child should be adapted to his or her age and/or ability to understand. Any frightening situation should be explained to the child, which will reassure him/her as soon as he/she is able to understand what he/she sees or hears.

Finally, at bedtime, emotions that are too strong and likely to cause fear should be avoided. For some children, fear of the dark can cause nightmares. A small nightlight is often all that is needed to reassure them completely and allow them to sleep without nightmares.

Whatever the cause of the nightmares, it is not advisable for the child to end the night in the parents' bed. On the contrary, they should be allowed to go back to sleep in their own room. They must understand that they are as safe there as in their parents' bed. This is a more or less long learning process, but it is important for the child's development.

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Bucket List: Ideas for writing it

Skydiving, going around the world or starting your own business... all these things we'd like to do "before we die" pile up in a corner of our heads. And then, as time goes by, we start to regret not having achieved our dreams or goals...

To make your plans a reality, many psychologists attest to the usefulness of writing a list to start a new dynamic within yourself. Writing this list, called a Bucket List, is exciting, and allows you to get to know yourself better. To help you write it, here are ideas that may awaken your own dreams. Get inspired, formulate your wishes and make the great decision to make them come true. You can use the article How to create a Bucket List to help you write it.

Go on a long bike ride
Long-distance cycling
Dog sledding in Lapland
Participate in the festival of colours in India
Cross a desert by camel
Roadtrip in Iceland
Horseback riding in the pampas of Argentina
Floating in the Dead Sea
Celebrate St Patrick's Day in Ireland
Take a gondola ride
Seeing rice fields
See the Northern Lights
See penguins in their natural habitat
Cycling in the Netherlands
Picking rice
Digging for gold in the Yukon
Sending a message to the sea from the North Pole
Treading on grapes during the harvest
Seeing a sunset in the desert
Dive into a cenote
Set foot on the equator
Sleeping in a hut over the water
Taste parmeggiano cheese in Italy
Explore Quebec
Discovering Tibet
Discover the steppes of Mongolia
Climb an active volcano
Try to spot the Loch Ness monster in Scotland
Climb Kilimanjaro
Touch the glaciers in New Zealand
Sailing on Lake Titicaca
Explore the Amazon jungle
See the midnight sun in Norway
Visit a redwood forest

🌍🌎🌏

Star gazing with a guide
Build a hut
Sleep in a yurt
Take photography classes
Doing humanitarian missions
Canyoning
Learning a dance with my partner
Make fire with wood, flint
Building a raft
Harpoon fishing
Sleeping in an igloo
Learning to sew
Taking a mud bath
Keeping friends
Telling your loved ones you love them
Diving under the ice
Riding a steam train
Raising dogs
Experience eco-volunteering
Eat pizza in Italy
Tango dancing in Argentina
Party in Las Vegas
Visit Yellowstone Park
Experience the Thai Festival of Lights
Walk a little piece of the Great Wall of China
Attend the Rio carnival
Visit the Taj-Mahal
Throw tomatoes at the La Tomatina festival in Spain
Make a wish at the Trevi Fountain in Rome
Cross the USA from east to west
See the Kremlin
Visit Easter Island
Party in Cancun
Crossing Russia on the Trans-Siberian Railway
Cross Australia in a van
Travelling through South America on two wheels

🌍🌎🌏

Writing a children's book
Writing a short story and entering it in a competition
Go paragliding
Go skydiving
Go surfing
Take a hot air balloon ride
Open a shop
Open a restaurant
Open a gîte
Hitchhiking
Start a family
Go scuba diving
Start my own business
Change someone's life
Learn to rescue
Get a boat licence
Get a motorbike licence
Attend a flying lantern release
Volunteer in an association
Plant a tree
Learn a language
See an aurora borealis
Give a lecture
Sleep under the stars on a beach
Set foot on each of the continents
Go skydiving
Bungee jumping
Have my own show
Learn a musical instrument
Keep a diary
Run a marathon
Climb Mont Blanc
Go on an expedition to the North Pole
Learn to draw
Buy a bus and refurbish it
Live like a shepherd
Make a film
See a geyser
Take a bath in a natural pool
Teaching abroad

🌍🌎🌏

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Autophobia: what is the fear of being alone?

A characteristic of our hyper-connected age, autophobia etymologically means "fear of oneself" in Greek, with its two roots auto (self) and phobia (fear). In practice, this phobia means a morbid fear of being alone. It is both a fear of the self and of loneliness, and is experienced by sufferers as a fear of dying, having a panic attack, or feeling suicidal.

What is autophobia?

Being alone from time to time is necessary and sometimes desired in our daily lives. Many people do not like to be alone, but for a small number of people, the discomfort of being alone is pathological and manifests itself in serious physical and mental disorders. Doing everything to avoid loneliness, they sometimes go so far as to surround themselves with people or activities they do not like to avoid facing themselves. Suffering from low self-esteem, these people are said to have a depressive attitude and a tendency to build a "dream" life to cope with the expectations of others.

This anxiety disorder affects both men and women and is rooted in a potential abandonment wound.

How do autophobes feel?

The person with this disorder has an intense and irrational fear of being alone, either now or in the near future. Their primary objective is to avoid being alone at all costs, which means surrounding themselves at all costs, all the time. If, at certain moments, the autophobic person does not succeed in doing this, he or she feels an immense uneasiness, with anguish, anxiety and unreasonable fear. Dysfunctional thoughts appear, such as the belief that danger is imminent, that no one will come to their aid if they need it, that they could die, by an external accident, but also by the fear of having suicidal desires.

At the physiological level, several symptoms may appear:

• Palpitations;
• Dizziness;
• Malaise;
• Tachycardia;
• Sweating, etc.

How autophobes act

At the behavioural level, these people tend to seek approval from others, and are afraid of being rejected and ignored. They have a morose, sometimes depressive attitude. Shunning loneliness as much as possible, they are often anxious and unnatural with others, since they are always dependent on their presence.

These people usually build a dream life for themselves, to conform to the expectations of society and those around them. Today's social networks therefore encourage the appearance of such imaginary and perfect life scenarios, by constructing a perfect "false self" that conforms to the expectations of those around them.

Daily life is greatly impacted, both socially, personally and emotionally, as well as professionally. Such a person is described as autophobic when these symptoms persist over time, at least for a few months.

Origins of autophobia

The roots of autophobia are often hidden in a major abandonment wound, most often in childhood:

• an oversight at the crèche, in the supermarket, in a public place ;
• or a lack of listening;
• a lack of consideration for the child's feelings, leading him or her to believe wrongly that he or she is uninteresting, unlovable or even bad.

Autophobic people often perceive their environment as insecure and lacking in understanding and empathy. Finding oneself with oneself is then a source of suffering, since one finds oneself considered as unappreciated, unloved and unvalued.

Our era also favours the appearance of such anxiety disorders, by allowing people with "perfect" profiles to appear on social networks, physically or socially, and where the competition and the race for "likes" is tough and directly measures social or personal success. Having a smartphone with you at all times, allowing you to be in constant contact with other people, suggests that few people today can really bear to be alone and connected to themselves.

What treatments are available?

Fortunately, there are treatments available to help people with autophobia. There are personal development programmes, which allow one to work on self-esteem, self-affirmation or even narcissistic construction, which are extremely undermined in this pathology.

Of course, one can also call upon psychoanalysis, in individual therapy, which will complete the introspective research on the roots of this malaise, by exploring the causes in childhood, in the link to the parents, the first "others" perceived by the child.

It is also necessary, with the help of a therapist or a coach, or through activities such as meditation or yoga, to relearn how to listen to oneself, to connect with oneself, to look at oneself in a mirror and to learn to know oneself.

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Poems Of Bessie Rayner Parkes - Poemas en inglés

Recursos Educativos en Inglés - Poems in English

Poesías en inglés

New-year's Eve and New-year's Day - Bessie Rayner Parkes

Good bye, Old Year!
And with thee take
Thanks for the gifts to every land
Thou broughtest in thy bounteous hand,
And all that thou hast taught to hearts thy lingering steps forsake.
Good bye, Old Year!
The Past awaiteth thee.
Who ruleth in her power alone
The kingdom of Oblivion.
Silent she sits in ebon chair;
Falling mists of dusky hair
Veil her dark eyes' glorious shine,
Full of wise help, and truth divine.
Silent, unless a fitful sound,
As from some cavern underground,
Steal from her lips; the company
Of ancient Years that round her be,
Then chanting, one by one, give tongue
To old experience in their song.

Good bye, Old Year!
Thou goest forth alone,
As we shall do: thy pages gay,
Seasons and months who round thee lay,
Attend thee to Earth's farthest verge, then back! to greet thy son.

Hail, New-born Year!
Cradled in morning clouds
Golden and white. I cannot see
Thy face--'tis wrapp'd in mystery;
But Spring for thee is painting flowers,
And Summer decks her woven bowers;
Rich Autumn's sheaves will soon be reap'd,
With store of fruits in sunbeams steep'd,
And one by one with gentle hand folds back thy sunlit shrouds.

Hail, New-born Year!
Shining and beautiful,
Thou wilt step forth in plenitude
Of youth and its rejoicing mood.
Last child of the half-century,
And time of coming victory
Over the spirits of night and sin,
Whose howlings of defeat begin:
Thou bringest hope, and labour bless'd
In visions of successful rest,
Bringest great thoughts, and actions wrought
In fire upon that forge of thought,
And with the soul of earnestness I think thy youths are full.

Hail, New-born Year!
My utterance is too weak
To tell of all I think thou bringest,
To echo back the song thou singest;
But the very winds of Heaven for those who listen to them, speak!

Music - Bessie Rayner Parkes

Sweet melody amidst the moving spheres
Breaks forth, a solemn and entrancing sound,
A harmony whereof the earth's green hills
Give but the faintest echo; yet is there
A music everywhere, and concert sweet!
All birds which sing amidst the forest deep
Till the flowers listen with unfolded bells;
All winds that murmur over summer grass,
Or curl the waves upon the pebbly shore;
Chiefly all earnest human voices rais'd
In charity and for the cause of truth,
Mingle together in one sacred chord,
And float, a grateful incense, up to God.

Peace - Bessie Rayner Parkes

THE steadfast coursing of the stars,
The waves that ripple to the shore,
The vigorous trees which year by year
Spread upwards more and more;

The jewel forming in the mine,
The snow that falls so soft and light,
The rising and the setting sun,
The growing glooms of night;

All natural things both live and move
In natural peace that is their own;
Only in our disordered life
Almost is she unknown.

She is not rest, nor sleep, nor death;
Order and motion ever stand
To carry out her firm behests
As guards at her right hand.

And something of her living force
Fashions the lips when Christians say
To Him Whose strength sustains the world,
"Give us Thy Peace, we pray!"

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