The four agreements of Toltec wisdom

The Toltec Agreements - What do you need to know?

The Four Toltec Agreements proposes to free us from the daily pressure - a devious and counter-productive energy invented by modern man - responsible for much physical and psychological suffering. Contemporary societies feed our bodies and minds with fear of tomorrow and thus limit our ability to perceive the feeling of freedom. This essay does not impose any doctrine, but advises on the paths to take in order to consider a quest for freedom...

1st Toltec Agreement

Let your word be impeccable.

Translation:

This is undoubtedly the most important agreement, but also the most difficult to respect. Your word is not only a communication tool:

It is also a force for creating the events of your life. It therefore has a strong power to cause chaos around you.

This is why it is recommended to speak only with integrity and say what you really think, avoiding backbiting and lying.

Practical exercise:

Keep a workbook and list the things you have said about which you have had doubts.

Under each statement, answer these questions:

1. Do you agree with the deeper meaning of these words?
2. Do they correspond to what you want to achieve and who you are?
3. What words could you have used instead?
4. What impact might this change have on the future?

2nd Toltec Agreement

Whatever happens, don't make it personal.

Translation:

This agreement denounces behaviours induced by susceptibility such as sulking, backbiting or revenge. To avoid them, it is important to remember that what others do or say is only a projection of their reality. It is therefore important to be immune to the opinions and actions of others.

Practical exercise:

Observe and record your reactions to the behaviour of others in your environment.

1. Do you criticise them?
2. Do you find your behaviour objectionable?
3. Where you wish to be free, offer the same freedom to others.

3rd Toltec Agreement

Make no assumptions.

Translation:

Assumptions lead to many misunderstandings, dramas, arguments, separations, anxieties. The Third Toltec Agreement encourages you to take courage to ask the questions and express what you really want. It sounds like a simple agreement, but in reality it truly transforms the way you are.

Practical exercise:

1. Think of an attitude, a behaviour, a way of proceeding of an individual (relative, friend, media individual) that you initially disliked.
2. Think of several reasons why they might have acted in that way and notice the differences in your feelings about it.

4th Toltec Agreement

Always do your best.

To put this agreement into action, you must remember that "your best" changes according to the situations, the years, the periods of your life. Whatever the situation, do your best so that you don't have regrets or feel guilty.

Practical exercise:

1. Plan simple, measurable actions to improve your satisfaction.
2. Carry them out and observe the effect they have on you. Did you do your best?
3. Detail the areas of your life that you are dissatisfied with and try to plan new actions that will improve your satisfaction.

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What to do when faced with a mythomaniac?

Origin of mythomania

The term mythomania was coined by the forensic physician Ernest Dupré at the very beginning of the 20th century. It originally referred to the elective aptitude of children for lying and simulation and more precisely to the "pathological tendency, more or less voluntary and conscious, to lie and to create imaginary fables". For Dupré, haunted by the risk of miscarriages of justice, the child is driven by a constitutional need to harm adults by lying in a natural way. Even if he specifies that these acts are always unintentional, such a discourse constitutes a real indictment of children, and all the more so as he does not put forward any hypothesis to explain the phenomenon. According to him, the child's conscience only intervenes at the very beginning of the lie, which, by progressive autosuggestion, imposes itself on the child's belief. The child would live his lie so intensely that he would end up sincerely believing it.

The lie

The term lie traditionally associated with thought, with intelligence in action. Today, it designates an "assertion knowingly contrary to the truth, made with the intention of deceiving", which confirms the idea that the liar never believes his lie. In other words, a person who says something false that he believes to be true is not lying, he is mistaken.

The linguist A. Reboul confirms this by adding that an assertion can only be qualified as a lie on the condition that "the speaker intends that his interlocutor believe that he believes in the truth of what he is saying.

The definition of a lie therefore comes up against the idea of "lying to oneself". However, it seems that the mythomaniac himself believes his own lies... Can we call the mythomaniac a liar?

Is the mythomaniac a liar?

A. Eiguer defines "mythomania" as a form of mystification towards others, but also towards oneself. Classically, the mythomaniac creates a self-validating persona to which he or she adheres with such determination that he or she is able to convince those around him or her.

"Mythsters must sincerely believe in the stories they tell and the characters they invent in order to better convince others. Even if they don't at first, they eventually get caught up in their own game.

In other words, mythomaniacs start by lying, and then end up taking ownership of the theme of their narrative. A theory was developed in 1891 by the psychiatrist A. Delbrück to describe and explain the phenomenon. Delbrück to describe and explain this phenomenon: the theory of pseudologia-phantistica. The doctor considers this phenomenon as a day dream told to another person as if it were reality, and without any intention to deceive.

Mythomania today

Mythomania today is a pathology characterised by falsehoods in which the perpetrator believes. The individual elaborates scenarios, events, acts and characters that have never taken place or do not exist. They claim to be actors or witnesses in a story that they themselves have imagined and which often places them in an advantageous position.

The mythomaniac ends up acting partially or totally according to his imaginary production. "Not having the strength to exist in reality, they do not really know who they are, since they identify themselves only through the imaginary,". It is therefore a way of escaping an unacceptable reality or one that is difficult to face without suffering. It is a "defence of the organism against a feeling of inferiority and regression".

By an almost unconscious decision and to avoid frustration, the mythomaniac locks himself into a false universe where reality and fiction merge. In most cases, this process tends to last a long time.

"The liar acts with the intention of giving false information. He always has a choice between telling the truth or not, and he knows the difference between the two. Mythomaniacs, who know they are not telling the truth, are unable to control their behaviour and are not aware that they are lying".

The causes of mythomania

Why do some people lie to their interlocutors without any material reason? What psychological benefits does a relationship where others are deceived bring to the liar?

Why does a child lie?

There are several reasons why a child might lie. They may want to feel valued, to avoid responsibility or to fear reprimand. In any case, the child would be unaware of lying before the age of 6 or 7: before that, he or she often alters reality, but unconsciously and without intention to harm.

The typical portrait of the mythomaniac

Because the confession is unbearable, mythomaniacs quickly become great mystifiers. They must be believed or else everything collapses and their imaginary world collapses. He therefore does everything possible to be as accurate as possible, feeding on reality, drawing fragments of truth here and there. Nothing is left to chance, everything is thought out so that the fabrication is credible.

The mythomaniac is typically fragile, hyperemotional, subject to a strong dependence on the gaze of others and whose powers of imagination are increased tenfold. Whatever their profile, they are often the first victims of their imaginary stories, which they have difficulty distinguishing from reality.

What happens when the liar is found out?

This is the worst case scenario for a liar: being discovered. It is a moment that he experiences in an extremely anxious way and that pushes him to take several paths:

• Embark on a new lie.
• To sink into depression.
• Flee to another place where everything can be started again.

What to do when faced with a mythomaniac?

When dealing with a liar, it is recommended not to pay attention to his lies, at the risk of pushing him even further into what he believes to be reality. Similarly, it is not advisable to violently contradict what he says, at the risk of causing obstinacy from which it would be even more difficult to escape.

The best solution is to gradually help the mythomaniac to become aware of the falsity of his reality, by confronting his speech with elements that are not in line with it, while bearing in mind that mythomania can be a serious illness. There is no point in constantly telling him that he is lying.

Therapy is the most recommended treatment, but the mythomaniac must be willing to seek it.

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The adolescent crisis

The idea of a crisis in adolescence has come so far that some have come to proclaim that its absence is a prognosis for future imbalance in adult life.
It all starts with a theory established by Stanley Hall at the beginning of the twentieth century, which does not conceive of adolescence without "a long and painful road of ascent" marked by "experiences of storm and tension", "moments of turbulence and uncertainty" or "forms of behaviour, from the most unstable and unpredictable to the most morbid and disturbed."

Peter Blos followed suit, emphasising "the inevitable tensions and conflicts caused by the adolescent's need for independence from his parents", as did a number of social scientists (Coleman and then Keniston), for whom the adolescent experience inevitably leads to "conflicts between young people and their parents and between the adolescent generation and the adult generations".

In 1936, Debesse published La crise d'originalité juvénile (The crisis of juvenile originality), which definitively sealed the image of the violent, masturbating, disrespectful and disturbing adolescent. Reinforced by "the conviction that the generations of adolescents are entangled in a destructive conflict", the presuppositions about this identity crisis during adolescence are then slowly but surely imposed, without regard for the voices that come out in the opposite direction.

Yet associating the term 'crisis', which refers to 'the sudden worsening of a pathological condition', with a life passage may seem inappropriate, even brutal. Clinical psychologist Julian Dalmasso prefers the idea of a "decisive moment that can be perilous" rather than "serious and regrettable".

The reality of the crisis

In reality, empirical research, which has provided a very large amount of data, does not in any way validate the reality of the crisis in adolescence. On the contrary, it supports a certain emotional stability of adolescents, which runs counter to the image of stressed, violent and disrespectful youth provided by Hall, Freud and many others.

The famous conflict operating between the teenager and the parents does not seem more realistic according to the studies which confirm that "the typical pattern of relationship between the teenage and adult generations has more harmony than disagreement, more affection than alienation and more devotion than rejection of family life". The conquest of autonomy and identity therefore does not necessarily involve rupture and detachment. On the contrary, authors such as Petersen, Rutter or Raja have begun to link "the accentuated conflict with parents", "the constant devaluation of the family", "the weak attachment to parents during adolescence" to "anti-social behaviour", "situations of persistent depression" and "good indicators of psychological maladjustment".

The implications of the crisis discourse are numerous. It is believed that this theory has "strongly conditioned the thinking of mental health professionals" and contributed to "failing to recognise all the new potentialities of the psychological process of adolescence with the risk of not seeing its positive elements; understanding adolescence only superficially". Unfortunately, as Weiner writes, "once myths flourish, it is extremely difficult to dispel them."

Changes during adolescence

Adolescents undergo many changes, whether physiological, psychological or behavioural:

• In girls: development of breasts, genitalia, hair growth, appearance of first menstruation.
• In boys: voice moult, hair growth, bone and stature growth, spermatogenesis.
• In both sexes : modification of body shape, increase in muscular capacity, physical strength, remodelling of body image, fixation on external body appearance, various tendencies towards excess, dubious hygiene and great instability, need to break with one's childhood, with one's desires, ideals, models of identification, profound cognitive and moral transformations, acquisition of formal operative thinking (a type of reasoning described as abstract, hypothetico-deductive, combinatorial and propositional).

Adolescent health problems

Adolescence is a period that predisposes individuals to certain conditions, some of the most common of which are

• Dysmorphophobia. Linked to pubertal transformations, they designate a psychological disorder characterised by a preoccupation or an excessive obsession with a defect in appearance, even a slight but real imperfection. If an anatomical element does not seem to conform, the adolescent will tend to focus on it and to dramatise.
• Spasmophilia. Characterised by tingling skin, contractures and breathing difficulties, this is a major concern for adolescents.
• Headaches and abdominal pain. These can occur after a conflict or an episode of depression.
• Digestive disorders and back pain. These affect almost a quarter of adolescents repeatedly.
• Sleep disorders. Sleep disorders, which are partly responsible for the feelings of great tiredness that they say they suffer, are mainly manifested by difficulties in falling asleep and waking up.
• Sprains, fractures, dizziness, anxiety attacks, sweating and sore throats complete the classic adolescent picture.

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Angry children and tantrums: how to manage them?

How does a child's opposition manifest itself?

A child's opposition can manifest itself in different ways. If the child rolls around on the floor, answers all your questions with "no" and cries without being able to explain what he or she is feeling, then he or she is probably having an oppositional "crisis". These signs show that he is gradually discovering his individuality. He is torn between the desire to do things by himself and the need to be helped by his parents. This contradictory state can destabilise parents who, despite their efforts, fail to understand what the child really wants.

By discovering that he is independent and has his own desires and emotions, the child seeks to know his limits but also yours. He is torn between different feelings: to leave or to stay, to want or to refuse, etc. It is therefore difficult for parents to help them and keep them happy.

Sometimes it only takes a few minutes for him to trick his parents and get what he wants. By creating a crisis, he knows that it can be a way to get what he wants, it is a test that he makes the adults around him pass. Moreover, his fits do not have the same duration and intensity depending on the people involved.

But these seizures can also, quite simply, reflect the child's state of stress and fatigue. If the child feels bad, tired, hungry or isolated and misunderstood, he or she may resort to crying and screaming to get attention and ask for help.

Where do these tantrums come from?

Faced with dilemmas that he cannot resolve, his anger and frustration take over and lead to rather violent outbursts. By venting in this way, the child is venting the rage that he or she can no longer control and cannot yet express verbally. Sometimes it is simply to obtain a treat or a toy that he will start a tantrum. By entering into a power struggle with the adult of reference, he hopes to obtain the object of his desire or to be heard.

How do I deal with my child's tantrums?

Giving in is an admission of weakness that the child will soon use regularly. You must therefore be firm, even in public when the situation seems shameful and/or insoluble and even if the place is not ideal for isolating him. This is also a necessary limit. Indeed, in order to structure himself, the child needs to come up against the firmness of his parents and their limits. They need to get to know frustration and integrate it into the feelings they will have to deal with in their future lives. Many parents do not dare to set limits for fear of "hurting" their child, but in order to be happy, the child needs to feel secure in a framework where rules are imposed.
However, you need to give them space and support them in their quest for independence. For example, let him take the initiative on a daily basis, show him what to do, and encourage him when it is his turn.
Finally, try to divert his attention if you feel that a crisis is imminent. Offer to play or sing, for example. This will make it easier to relieve the pressure and avoid a major crisis. And to prevent the situation from getting too heated, never shout at him. Instead, stay calm and talk to him. When faced with a soothing tone of voice from a parent, the child will find it easier to calm down and listen carefully to what you have to say.

At what age do these tantrums disappear?

As the child becomes more able to speak and express him/herself, these tantrums tend to disappear on their own. It is therefore around the age of 3 that the child succeeds in speaking to defuse its discomfort. However, the crying and screaming do not disappear. They are simply reduced in duration and intensity and now make way for a possible discussion and verbalisation of their emotions.

With experience, parents anticipate risk situations with regard to their child's tantrums. It is therefore much easier for them to limit the damage and prevent it. But if the child does have a tantrum, don't panic. Stay firm and don't give in to them, they are just continuing their normal development by finding out what they are and are not allowed to do.

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Poems Of Alfred Tennyson - Poemas en inglés

Recursos Educativos en Inglés - Poems in English - Poesías en inglés

The Charge Of The Light Brigade - Alfred Tennyson

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns!" he said.
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Forward, the Light Brigade!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Some one had blunder'd.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die.
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of hell
Rode the six hundred.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder'd.
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel'd from the sabre-stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not,
Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wonder'd.
Honor the charge they made!
Honor the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred!

A Farewell - Alfred Tennyson

Flow down, cold rivulet, to the sea,
Thy tribute wave deliver:
No more by thee my steps shall be,
For ever and for ever.

Flow, softly flow, by lawn and lea,
A rivulet then a river:
Nowhere by thee my steps shall be
For ever and for ever.

But here will sigh thine alder tree
And here thine aspen shiver;
And here by thee will hum the bee,
For ever and for ever.

A thousand suns will stream on thee,
A thousand moons will quiver;
But not by thee my steps shall be,
For ever and for ever.

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Poems Of Abbie Farwell Brown - Poemas en inglés

Recursos Educativos en Inglés - Poems in English - Poesías en inglés

Friends - Abbie Farwell Brown

How good to lie a little while
And look up through the tree!
The Sky is like a kind big smile
Bent sweetly over me.

The Sunshine flickers through the lace
Of leaves above my head,
And kisses me upon the face
Like Mother, before bed.

The Wind comes stealing o'er the grass
To whisper pretty things;
And though I cannot see him pass,
I feel his careful wings.

So many gentle Friends are near
Whom one can scarcely see,
A child should never feel a fear,
Wherever he may be.

The Fisherman - Abbie Farwell Brown

The fisherman goes out at dawn
When every one's abed,
And from the bottom of the sea
Draws up his daily bread.

His life is strange ; half on the shore
And half upon the sea
Not quite a fish, and yet not quite
The same as you and me.

The fisherman has curious eyes;
They make you feel so queer,
As if they had seen many things
Of wonder and of fear.

They're like the sea on foggy days,
Not gray, nor yet quite blue;
They 're like the wondrous tales he tells
Not quite yet maybe true.

He knows so much of boats and tides,
Of winds and clouds and sky!
But when I tell of city things,
He sniffs and shuts one eye!

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World Oceans Day, 8 June

World Oceans Day is a global awareness-raising event that has been celebrated every 8 June since 2009. The day is an opportunity to highlight the role of the oceans in our daily lives and also to take action to protect the oceans and the environment.

Launched following the Rio de Janeiro Summit in 1992 and proclaimed by the UN General Assembly in 2008, World Oceans Day was created to raise awareness of the crucial role the oceans play in our livelihoods and how to protect them.

The UN theme for 2021 is: The Ocean: Life and Livelihoods

Did you know?

The oceans cover 71% of the Earth's surface and make up 97% of all the water on the planet.

More than 3 billion people depend on marine and coastal biodiversity for their livelihoods.

The ocean absorbs 30% of the carbon dioxide (CO2) produced by humans, which greatly reduces the impact of this greenhouse gas and thus global warming.

Human activities affect 40% of the oceans: pollution, depletion of fish stocks, establishment of invasive aquatic species, destruction of coral reefs, etc.

More than 90% of the 10 most caught fish are endangered, and almost 50% of other commercial species are threatened by intensive fishing.

Every year, 13 million tonnes of plastic are dumped into the oceans, killing 100,000 marine animals.

How to celebrate World Oceans Day?

1. Be careful with your consumption by limiting the use of single-use plastic and favouring bio-based products through sustainable behaviour.
   Recycle the plastic you use (and your waste in general).
2. Take part in beach clean-ups.
3. Find out about consumer initiatives and tips on social media by following the hashtags #WorldOceansDay and #SaveOurOcean.
4. Discover the UN's programme of activities on its online portal. The events are taking place simultaneously all over the world: aquariums, science museums, associations and marine education institutions are offering their audiences festivities full of fun activities and concrete actions, so that young and old can learn more about the sea.

“I really don't know why it is that all of us are so committed to the sea, except I think it's because in addition to the fact that the sea changes, and the light changes, and ships change, it's because we all came from the sea. And it is an interesting biological fact that all of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea - whether it is to sail or to watch it - we are going back from whence we came." - John F. Kennedy

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